“You’ve never had feelings for him?”
Grey shakes his head. “I love him like a brother. I’ve had to play that parental role for him so hard, I’ve never felt anything romantic. He’s hurting and I hate that, but what he did wasn’t okay. I’ll talk to him soon.” He looks back at me. “He doesn’t know about New York.”
In all this chaos I forgot. “You’re taking the job?”
“Only if you come with me. I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“I want to go.” While I love this house and this place, I don’t think I can go outside and not see Steven lifeless on the ground. I wonder if Grey feels the same. Actually, I don’t. I know he does. “When would we leave?”
He shrugs, settling back against me, and my fingers idly caress his skin. I love his warm weight. “Hockey season starts mid-October. I need to talk to my agent and then formally interview for the position, but it sounds like it’s mine if I want it.”
I smile. “Hmm, Coach Tremblay. Has a nice ring to it.”
He smiles wide. All white teeth with the light coming back into his eyes. “It really does, doesn’t it?”
THIRTY FOUR
Grey
Opening my eyes, I first feel a weight across my chest, then relief. It’s been about two weeks since Steven died, and I don’t know why I keep waking up expecting Felix to be gone. I watch him sleep, his soft brown hair tickling my chest. I thought I knew fear before this entire thing, but it was nothing compared to seeing him on that security camera with Steven’s disgusting hands around the back of his neck.
He stirs, stretching, then looks up at me with a soft smile. “Morning,” he mumbles and nuzzles into my side, his hand smoothing across my stomach.
“Morning.” I push his hair away from his eyes. “How’d you sleep?”
The first few days, neither of us got much. As evil as Steven was, and with Felix’s and Andre’s lives on the line, I did what I had to. The thing is, what I’ve done has settled inside me like a heavy weight, and I don’t think it will ever lift. There’s a heaviness in me now that wasn’t there before I ended his life.
“Better.”
I kiss him between the eyes. I don’t feel good about what happened, but I’d do anything to keep him safe. “Let’s get up and make something to eat.” I’ve been lying here for a while now, but I didn’t want to wake him. I just kept looking at him, afraid if I looked away, he’d vanish.
Freshly showered,Felix walks into the kitchen wearing sweatpants and one of my shirts that he absolutely swims in. He comes up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me. “I won’t be so clingy forever, I promise. I’m just so happy I can hold you.” I hold him tight, rubbing his back. “There was a moment when I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
“I would have found you.” I kiss the side of his head. “No one is ever going to take you anywhere you don’t want to go. Nobody. You’re free.”
He kisses me gently. Our security camera goes off, and there’s a little bit of anxiety now. I keep expecting to seehim, even though I know he’s gone. I haven’t quite dealt with killing someone yet, but there’s no love lost. I don’t hold empathy for predators.
Since Steven’s death hit the papers, a few more students have come forward. Felix wasn’t the only one he set his sights on. In fact he wasn’t the only one Steven was involved with. It explains what he did during the day. It makes me sick. I just hope that all of them can find some peace.
I grab my phone, relaxing when I see it’s my friend. “It’s Oli.” I unlock the door for him, and I hear his footsteps before he walks in with his hands in his jeans. “Hey.” I smile. “How was the honeymoon? Where’s Andre?” They left a few days after everything happened. I practically had to forcethem both to go. I didn’t want to ruin any more of their happy moments. There wasn’t much they could do afterwards anyway, but I’m so grateful to have had them both there during that.
“It was incredible. He’s ...” He looks away. “Exhausted.”
Gross. I love this for them. I love seeing him so happy. If anyone deserves it, it’s him. I’m forever grateful to him and Andre. I really do have the best friends ever.
That brings me back to Atlas. I know I need to talk with him, but I’ve been putting it off. I’m just so upset. But then again, I know him. His impulse control is less than zero. Atlas is barely contained chaos, and I know he must feel like shit over it all. Unfortunately, I know how he deals with shitty situations.
I still need to talk to him.
“How’s everything going?” He looks at Felix. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay.” He thinks. “Thank you... you and Andre. Thank you for being there for him. For me.”
“That’s what we do.” Oli smiles. “We’re a team.” He stands awkwardly and I know what he wants to ask.
“I haven’t seen him since the wedding.” Even if my fingers have clicked on his number a dozen times over the week, I can’t bring myself to call him.
Oli nods. “I know, I just came from there.” That catches my attention. “I know you’re upset with him, but I think you should go over and see him. He’s not doing well.”
