I think I’m going to tell Grey I love him. I know I do. I know he won’t hurt me?—
I stare at the words without blinking until my eyes burn and my vision blurs. My fingers shake as I flip through it. More little comments. There’s a page on dealing with PTSD. There’s a travel wish list, and on one page he’s written things to do in New York around Liberty State. He hasn’t gotten very far in it. The rest is just blank pages. Until in the back I see something written.
If taken, return to
235 Larryhead Drive
Port Sanders Oregon 23437
“I don’t understand. You got him this journal, right?” Andre looks over my shoulders.
“He’s talking about himself. Not the journal. If he’s taken, maybe this is where he used to live.” It’s a shot. Somewhere to start. I’ll search the entire state of Oregon if I have to. I shut the journal, taking it in my trembling fingers. It breaks my heart. Felix knew this was a possibility. The fact that I wasn’t here to protect him... I’m going to snap Steven’s neck when I catch him.
“What are you going to do?”
I look up at my friends. “I’m going to get my man back.”
“Oli, call Alyssa and tell her what’s going on. The hotel is paid for everyone through Saturday.”
“What are you doing?” I ask him.
Although I’m still pissed at him, his eyes soften, making some of my own anger deflate. “We’re going to get him back, Grey. He’s one of us now.” Andre rubs Oli’s bicep.
“No, you guys just got married. Go. It’s okay. I’m getting him back.”
“You got that right, because we’re coming with you.” Oli smiles. “He’s not getting away with this.”
I look at my friends and emotion punches me. There are things we need to talk about, but that’s the thing about Oli, he’s one of the most loyal friends you can have. We just have to work through our secrets. Right now I have my friends at my back, and we will get him back.
I told Felix nobody would hurt him while he was with me.
And I fucking meant it.
THIRTY ONE
Felix
It’s funny how long the plane ride seemed on the way there, because the ride back is blinking by. Luckily, Steven and I are sitting in different rows on the plane, but I can say it’s turning out to be the shortest plane ride in history. I had the idea of asking a stewardess to help me, but what’s the point? All it would do is put more people in danger, and like I told Grey...
Steven always wins.
I’m not even shocked. I’m not even sad. I’m just numb.
With an eight-hour flight and two layovers, I have plenty of time for my mind to keep busy with all the things he’s going to do to me once we get back home. I knew this would happen. I told Grey it would. And you know, I almost forgot myself.
He also told me there was nothing going on between him and Atlas.
I rest my head on the window, watching the clouds float by. “You alright?” The older woman next to me asks, and Idon’t know what to say. We’re all trapped on this flight. I can’t very well tell her what’s going on. What would be the point?
Steven would hurt her too. I’m sure of it.
If you can threaten a child, you have no limits.
I tell her I’m fine, just motion sick. She offers me some medicine and I decline.
Now my headrests on the window of his car. I feel defeated. I’m not sure why. I knew this would happen. It always does. I always end up back here. Except this time I fell in love with someone who loves someone else.
Grey is probably still with Atlas now. In bed. Loving his body the way I thought he loved mine. They’re best friends, and Atlas is incredibly handsome. They make sense. Grey and I never made sense.
