He shakes his head then leans in, pressing his lips to mine. What the fuck! My fingers twist in his tux sleeve trying to make sense of what the fuck is actually happeningright now. What is he doing?! My limbs are frozen. I can’t move.
The scuff of a shoe echoes through the hall. I wrench away and see Felix watching us. No. Fuck! No, this isn’t happening. He turns and runs, nearly tripping over himself to get away. “Get the fuck off me, Atlas.” I hear a door slam down the hall.
“Why him, Grey?!” He stumbles a little to grab me. I hold him up. He’s so drunk right now.
“What the fuck, Atlas?!” I hold him back, his bloodshot eyes blinking at the reality he just pushed us into. I need to go find Felix and explain, but Atlas looks seconds away from passing out. I can’t just leave him out here alone. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Grey, I—” He swallows. “I’m?—”
“Atlas.” I shake him a little. “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not. . . I mean, I am but I... I love you.”
What the hell is happening? No, he’s just... he’s just drunk, he... even as I try to make excuses, it’s like every question I have is answered. Andre and Oli’s looks. The things Felix has asked about. Atlas and his attitude toward Felix. No.
Why didn’t I see it?
No, this is crazy. He’s just drunk. “No you don’t, Atlas. You think you?—”
“Don’t tell me what I feel,” he sobs. Okay, he’s fucking wasted. “It’s been you and me for years, and then you fall for the first fucking guy you’re around!” I have to go find Felix. “Why not me, Grey? Why?”
I hear the doors open and think it’s Felix, but I see Oli burst through. “What the hell are you guys doing? Felix just ran out of—” And then he sees it, sees Atlas’s state, and puts two and two together. “Shit.”
“Shit is right.” I snap. “What the fuck, Atlas?”
“Hey.” Oli steps between us, pushing me back. “Go easy on him, alright?”
“Go easy?! Felix just saw us kissing! Or him kissing me.”
“Grey.” Atlas presses his palms to his eyes, stumbling forward. Oli catches him around the waist. “Please just listen to me.”
The doors open again. This time Andre and Knox appear a second later. “What’s going on?” Oli and Andre share a look. “Oh, shit.”
How many of them know?! “Are you guys fucking joking? No one felt like I should know?!”
“What’s that thing you always say?” Oli thinks. “Not my story to tell?”
“Fuck off, and fuck you for knowing and not saying anything.” Closing my eyes, I breathe deep. I’m so pissed.
“Hey,” Andre snaps. “Don’t talk to him like that. You know if it were the other way around, you’d keep Atlas’s secrets.”
“In fact, you do. You know shit about him I don’t.” Oli gets in my face. I don’t have fucking time for this bullshit right now. “What’s with his tattoo, Grey, huh? Who’s Penn?” I catch Atlas flinch in my periphery. I glare at him, stone-faced and pissed as hell. “That’s what I thought.”
I don’t have time for this. I push Oli out of my face. “I know his upbringing. Not that he’s in love with you!”
“Grey—” Atlas swallows.
“I can’t do this with you right now.” I need to find Felix. “Did you see him leave?”
Oli’s fight deflates and he nods. “Yeah, he went toward the hotel.” He’s in our room, upset. I Just need to find him. “I need to go.”
“Grey, wait—” I pull out of Atlas’s grip.
“Hey.” Knox steps between us, breaking his hold on my tux. “Why don’t you come with me, yeah? You need to drinksome water. Come on.” He looks at us. “I got him. You guys go.”
Heartbreak shines in Atlas’s eyes, but I just can’t deal with him right now. I’m in shock, even if no one else around me seems to be. “Grey, please?”
“Go with Knox. I need to find Felix.” Atlas stares at me a moment longer before going off with the Viper. I need my brain to slow down. I need to focus or make sense of this. Guilt grips me, but I can’t with Atlas right now. I just can’t. Knox slings his arm around Atlas as he leads him away. Atlas looks back briefly, and that part of me that loves him deeply wants to go to him, but I just can’t. I can’t believe this. How many secrets do we all keep from each other? Oli kept Andre from me. Hell, Oli didn’t know I was gay until this season. And Atlas. Oli and Andre both knew, and neither said a thing. “How long have you known?”
