Holding out my hand, I caught an ashen flake, which smeared my palm when I rubbed it with my thumb. Once the black ash touched the ground, it melted like snow on pavement but turned into white dust. I took a step, leaving behind a black, barefoot print. My body ached, and I sent out a silent prayer that I would wake up. This wasn’t like any dream I’d had before.
Bright white exploded in the distance, like a silent bomb had detonated. I threw my hands up, shielding my eyes from the migraine-inducing, blinding light. The light traveled fast until it reached me, consuming me in nothingness.
Warmth enveloped my one side and across my legs, but my eyes stayed shut. My head felt like a thousand tiny needles werepicking at my brain. Something rubbed the back of my hand in small circles, its warmth and touch providing comfort in such a tiny motion. I focused on it and awareness blossomed in my chest.
Ender was sitting next to me, holding my hand.
I forced my eyes open, taking the time to adjust to the light, which was much dimmer than that white blast that had left my head throbbing.
“Selene?” Ender’s soft voice drifted to me, and I turned my head to the side to get a better view of him. His short black hair was more tousled than usual at the top, a five-o-clock shadow grew along his sharp jaw, his darker skin tone was a shade lighter, and his eyes were glossy like he hadn’t slept in weeks.
I opened my mouth, but the sound that came out did not resemble any coherent word—it was just a croak.
“It’s okay.” The pad of Ender’s thumb brushed my cheek. “You’re okay.”
A tear rolled down his cheek as he assessed me, and I couldn’t hold back my own waterworks. There were three things I knew in that moment.
Ender was okay.
I was alive.
And I was not a dark mage.
The heavy pressure that had invaded my chest the last couple of months was gone. Even with what appeared to be nullifying glass encasing the room, I would have felt the darkness. My own magic felt like it had been put on the sidelines, untouchable and absent, but there was nothing dark about it.
I glanced down to see Chaos draped across my legs and Aura at my hip, both sound asleep. A short-lived smile spread across my face, and then I let my head fall back into Ender’s palm, savoring his touch.
“Ender?” My voice felt rusty, like an old bicycle that sat in a falling apart wood barn for years.
“Yes?” His voice was still gentle.
“I love you,” I blurted—no context, no heartwarming speech, just laid it out with how it was. I had been so worried I would never get the chance to tell him, and I wouldn’t even care if he didn’t say it back.
“I love you, too,” he said, and my heart melted into a puddle.
Just kidding.I cared a lot.
We stayed there in comfortable silence for a while, until the door opened.
Vivian came in, followed by my dad. Her straight black hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, not hiding the shadows lining her red-rimmed eyes. Her gaze was on me, slowly looking me over.
“You’re back,” she said before grinning and running over to me.
Ender stood, sliding out of the way to make room in the small infirmary room. She squished me, and I went to wrap my arms around her but realized I couldn’t. I glanced down to see magic nullifying cuffs around my wrists and ankles.
Huh.They really didn’t trust me.Maybe that was why my natural magic hadn’t stirred.
“I’m back,” I whispered into her hair as she hugged me, causing Aura to make a small grumbling noise and make her way over to lie near Chaos. “How long was I out for?”
I pulled back, looking from Vivian to Ender and to my dad.
“A week.” Vivian grabbed my hands with hers, my cuffs emitting a green glow. I looked at her, recalling the events that had happened. April was dead because of me. A week wasn’t enough time to process the loss of someone close—there would never be enough time.
“Viv…” I couldn’t help the ugly sob that left me. “I’m so sorry. I never—”
“I know.” She hugged me again.
Those two little words held a much larger statement. She might not have blamed me for April’s death, but I would never let myself forget it was the blade I had controlled that had killed her. I wouldn’t be at peace with it, but I would have to come to terms with it… eventually.
