A stray tear rolled down Ripley’s face, making me feel like shit for killing a man in front of her. He hadn’t left me any other choice. I knew this part of my lifestyle made her uneasy. All I could do was hope that she found a way to cope. I couldn’t bear to lose her now.
Finally, she nodded, wiping her tear away. “I understand. You were protecting me. I know that. I just can’t believe that happened.”
“I know. But it’s over now. Wipe those tears away so we can go down to the entertainment room.” The camera placement in this facility consisted of entry points, common rooms, and the elevators. There should be no evidence of us entering or leaving the chapel.
I’d been doing this long enough that I wasn’t worried about getting caught. At first glance, it would look like he’d simply collapsed and died. They may not even figure out it had been murder. If they did, they would never know it was me.
My biggest concern was Ripley. Helping her hold it together so she didn’t give us away. Getting her involved had never been my intent. Unfortunately, there was no guarantee that something like this would never happen again.
Maybe she would be better off without me. I was far too invested in this now to let her go. The selfish part of me refused to give up now that I’d fallen in love. I didn’t want anyone else. I didn’t want to see what else life would bring my way. I only wanted Ripley.
“I’m not sure I’m strong enough for this, Auryn,” Ripley said sadly. “Look at you. You’re completely fine, and you just killed a man. I’m ready to meltdown and lose my mind. What if I say or do the wrong thing? What if I slip up and someone finds out? I’m not cut out for this.”
Resting my forehead against hers, I took a deep, slow breath, waiting for her to follow my lead. After a few breaths, I spoke, keeping my voice low and gentle.
“You really have no idea how strong you are. Look at everything you’ve survived. You practically had to raise yourself. Even when things got rough, you still held it together. You showed up for classes. You held down a job. And look at you here now getting the help you need to keep going. Ripley, I have never known anyone as strong as you.”
I paused, giving her a moment to consider my words. Needing to feel her, I pressed my lips to hers in a tender kiss.
“You need to embrace your power,” I continued. “To look yourself in the eye every day and know what a badass you are. You’ve taken everything life has thrown at you and somehow made it work. There’s no stopping now. You have everything inside you that you need to overcome whatever comes your way. Believe it. I do. I’ve never been so in awe of anyone.”
Again her eyes filled with tears. “Aww, Auryn. Has anyone ever told you how special you are? I don’t know why you workso hard to hide this side of yourself from the world. Deep down you’re a total softy. You’re also a really good man. I love you.”
I grinned, her words striking a sensitive part of me I was still learning how to accept. “It’s all because of you, doll. You’re the one that broke through the bullshit and showed me how much more I could have if I opened up. I’m ridiculously, obsessively in love with you, Ripley. I want to do this life with you.”
She captured my hand in hers, squeezing tight. “Me too.”
We shared a kiss that held pure emotion. Something I’d never felt before her. Something that only she awakened inside me. I pulled her into a hug, loving the way she felt in my arms. Her warmth against me. Her soft sighs. I never wanted to let go.
Knowing that we needed to be seen in one of the common areas before the body was discovered, I encouraged Ripley to wash her face before we returned downstairs.
I couldn’t wait to get out of this place.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
RIPLEY
Waking up on the last day in the facility had me feeling ready to take on the world. I still had a long way to go in my recovery. Only now I had tools and a support system in place to help me. I knew it would be a lot harder once I was outside the building, but I was determined to make it work.
Auryn had checked himself out yesterday. He’d been reluctant to leave me for even a day, but I insisted that he go. It was safer if he wasn’t here after what had happened with the orderly.
So far they were treating it like a medical emergency. An unexpected and unfortunate incident. If they suspected anything more, they weren’t saying so to the rest of us. Most likely trying to keep a calm environment for those who needed it. Most of the patients here wouldn’t do well with chaos.
I’d spoken to Codie on the phone last night. She and the girls wanted to take me for dinner tonight. They were eager to see me, and I couldn’t wait to see them too.
When I closed my eyes, I still saw Auryn taking down the orderly, silently smothering his breath. An image that I hoped would soon fade. I knew that he never would have done it in front of me if he didn’t have to. None of this was on him.
I’d known what I was getting into when I decided to be with him. To give this a shot and see what we could have. Auryn had apologized profusely for dragging me into his world, even though I’d gone willingly. Although he promised not to let that part of his life affect me going forward, I knew that it might. And as crazy as it seemed, I was okay with that.
After my last inpatient session with Jennifer, I went down to the entertainment room to say goodbye to the few people I’d gotten to know in my time here. One of them was a lady old enough to be my grandmother. A truly wonderful person who’d done her best to share her wisdom with those of us who would benefit.
“So you’re leaving today,” Lily said, twisting one of her long silver braids around her hand. “Good for you. I know you’ll do well out there. Can I give you some advice before you go?”
I sat next to Lily on the couch, finding comfort in her gentle smile and sparkling brown eyes. “Of course.”
“Put yourself first. Too often in this world we put our own wants and needs on the back burner and put others first. But you can’t pour from an empty cup. Always fill your own cup first then tend to others. And sometimes don’t tend to them at all. We can’t be everything to everyone all the time.” Her hand was warm as she patted my arm. “And make sure that boyfriend of yours treats you like a goddess. You deserve nothing less.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that stole over my face. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have to worry about that. You’re right though. I know that I have to take care of myself. That has to be my priority. You take care of yourself too.”
