The orderly with the buzzed hair wandered the perimeter, keeping an eye on everything. When he spotted me, he started forward, heading toward me. Several times over the last few days I’d noticed him watching me. However, he watched everyone else too. I wanted to think I was reading more into it than there was, except my instinct told me otherwise.
When I’d mentioned him to Auryn, he told me not to worry about the guy. That he was someone the Kings knew outside this place. He was nothing and nobody to concern myself with.
The orderly took a seat on the opposite end of my bench. “Nice day, huh? It actually feels warm enough to sit out here.”
Every fiber of my being told me this guy had ill intentions. Trying not to let on how I felt, I said, “Yeah, the weather is really great today. Perfect for being alone with one’s thoughts.”
Despite having dropped a clear hint, he ignored it, continuing to talk. “So you know Auryn?”
“Um, yeah.” I gripped the arm of the bench tight, glancing around for any other orderlies.
“He let my mother die. Him and his friends. They could’ve saved her.” He spoke like we were having a casual conversationabout any mundane topic. “He’s into some bad shit. You should stay away from him. A guy like that will only hurt you.”
This was not a conversation I wanted to have. Feeling incredibly awkward, I said, “I’m sorry about your mom. That’s terrible.”
Maybe he would go away if I played along. If not, I would get up and go back inside. Something about him gave me the creeps.
“You know there are a lot of places around here without any cameras,” he continued, adding to the creep factor. “You should be careful. This place isn’t as squeaky clean as it looks. It would be a shame if something happened to you.”
I had heard more than enough. Fear cut through me, propelling me off the bench. So much for sitting outside and enjoying the day. He watched me as I rushed inside, making no attempt to follow.
Once I was back indoors, I kept moving. Not stopping until I reached the entertainment room filled with people. I sat down in my favorite chair near the window, trying to catch my breath.
What was wrong with that guy? Obviously, he had a problem with Auryn. This was exactly what I’d worried about when I first got involved with him. The same thing I had warned my friends about.
Being involved with a Graveyard King came with risks. I didn’t want to believe that Auryn would ever endanger me. Yet I’d seen enough with my friends to know that wasn’t true. This was who they were. This was part of loving one of them.
My friends had accepted the risks, believing that their love was worth it. Knowing the man they loved would come through for them every time. Now it was my turn to look inward and ask myself if I believed that Auryn was worth it.
I sat there staring out the window, nervously chewing my lip until it was time for my session with Jennifer. Of course Ididn’t dare breathe a word of this to her. That part of my life was off-limits. Besides, there was no way for her to help me. Being with Auryn was something I had to sort out for myself.
After we spoke, I found myself feeling emotional, like I often did after our sessions. There was a lot to unpack. A lot to think about as I went forward into my future. Not in the mood to be around anyone else right now, I headed for the small chapel. A place that didn’t align with any particular religious belief but was open to all who wished to seek comfort there.
I wasn’t a particularly religious person myself, although I did believe that there was more to this life than the three-dimensional world. I found that organized religion did more harm than good, even though I understood why people gravitated toward it. All I wanted right then was to be alone with my thoughts and the powers that be. Whatever or whomever they were.
I was relieved to find the chapel empty. Not an overly large room, it held six pews on either side, all facing an altar where people were welcome to light candles and burn incense. I did neither. Choosing instead to take a seat in a middle row.
More than ever, I felt determined to overcome my so-called inner demons. To rise above everything that had been holding me back. Graduation would be the end of this chapter in my life, opening the door to something new. Something more. Now was the time to make necessary changes.
What about Auryn? Did I see him in my future? I did love him. Would I be able to have the life I wanted with someone involved in organized crime? Someone who had killed and would likely kill again?
I couldn’t deny how desperately I wanted to discover what we might have together. I felt more like myself with Auryn than I ever had with any man. He saw me. The darkest parts of me. And he’d still fallen for me.
This was all still so new. Maybe we were victims of infatuation and this was nothing more than that. Even thinking that was a possibility made me frantic. I didn’t want this to be a passing fling. A memory we would both have one day. I wanted more.
That meant accepting Auryn and all that he was. Just as he’d done for me.
“What do you know?” A voice came from behind me, sending a shiver down my spine. “No cameras.”
I spun around to find the creepy orderly lurking in the doorway. Gripping the back of the pew in front of me, I shoved to my feet.
“What are you doing here? I’m trying to be alone.”
He held both hands out at his sides, giving a little shrug. “Maybe I want to be alone with you. Maybe I think your boyfriend owes me something. The way I see it, you’re my best shot at making him hurt. Can you really blame me for taking this opportunity?”
My heart began to pound, echoing in my ears. There was no other way out of this room. I could scream, although I wasn’t sure anyone would hear me. We were at the end of the hall with the noisy entertainment room next door.
“Yeah, actually I can. This is incredibly messed up for someone who works with mental illness patients and addicts.” Not having anywhere else to go, I took a step back, deeper into the pew. Toward the wall behind me.
