The next person to speak was a man with schizophrenia. He had gone off his meds and ended up in a bad place. Now he was here trying to regain control and take back his power.
I’d had no intention of speaking when I came here with Kevin. When the therapist asked if I would like to share, I found myself opening up.
“I’m not really sure where to begin,” I said, glancing uncertainly around the circle. Everyone’s attention was on me. “I’m here because I’m a chronic cokehead. I started using when partying with my friends. It was a way to have fun and take things to the next level. At some point, it became a crutch. A way to numb out. I’m not really so good at relating to people. Other than my closest friends, I don’t let anyone get close.”
There was no judgment on the faces of those around me. Some of them simply sat there listening while others nodded, understanding in their own way. I went on to explain how hard it had been for me to accept my feelings for Ripley. How I’d been determined to always play the field and never fall in love.
There was nothing any person here could do to solve my problems yet having them listen seemed to help lighten the load. I sat back in my chair when I’d finished, marveling at how much lighter I felt.
I was on my way out after the group session ended when an orderly grabbed my arm, pulling me aside. His grip was tight, squeezing hard enough to bruise. He spoke through clenched teeth.
“Remember me, asshole?”
I took in his appearance, the buzzed head and nose piercing. Trying to place him. No idea.
With great difficulty, I fought back the urge to lay him out on his ass for touching me. Instead, I said, “I’m afraid not. Do I know you?”
“You should. You let my mother die.” When I continued to stare at him blankly, he added, “You and your buddies were supposed to get her a kidney. You didn’t come through on time. I promised myself that if I ever got a chance to make you fuckers pay, I would take it. Better watch your back.”
A low chuckle spilled from me. Was this guy for real?
“We make no promises. We do what we can when we can. I’m sorry about your mom, but that’s not on us. If you think you’re going to get some kind of vengeance on me now, you better think again. I’m not someone you want to mess with.” Jerking my arm from his grasp, I gave him a shove. Hard enough to send him stumbling backwards with arms flailing.
I didn’t need this shit. The waiting list for organs was a mile long. Our supply was limited. Not everyone was going to get what they wanted. I wouldn’t be held responsible for the death of this guy’s mother. Sure it was unfortunate, and I didn’t wish it on anyone, but it wasn’t on us to save everyone. We were running an illegal operation here. They knew that. They knew the risks, and they knew the odds.
Before I got the chance to seek out the entertainment room, I was sidetracked by a nurse who wanted to take my vitals. Along with a blood and urine sample. Then she gave me something that was supposed to help with the withdrawal.
Lucky for me, cocaine wasn’t as hard to come off of physically as alcohol and other drugs. Although mentally it may really put me through the ringer. The nurse went over some programs they had, including an outpatient rehab and therapy program I could access after I left.
I felt grateful for her help. Not everyone who visited a place like this made it out successfully. I didn’t know if I would either, but I was damn well going to try.
When at last I got the chance to hunt down Ripley, I stepped into the entertainment room and came to an abrupt stop. There was a girl spinning in constant circles in the corner, her head thrown back as she stared at the ceiling. Several people gathered on two large couches, watching TV. A few others were scattered around the room reading, playing board games, or just talking.
Right away her blonde hair caught my eye. Drawing me right to her. Ripley sat on a chair near the window, staring outside into a green space that looked like a garden. She absently twisted a lock of hair around a finger, lost in thought.
There was something so perfect about being able to stand back and simply look at her. I didn’t want to ruin it.
Feeling my gaze upon her, Ripley suddenly glanced over. Our eyes locking. Then she immediately burst into tears.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
RIPLEY
For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating. Like my brain had concocted an image of what I most wanted. But no, he was really here. Standing just inside the doorway watching me.
I erupted into an onslaught of tears. They streamed down my face as I launched myself out of my chair. Rushing across the room and throwing myself into Auryn’s arms. I couldn’t believe he was here.
He wrapped me in his warm embrace. Resting his cheek on top of my head. Simply holding me. I didn’t know how badly I’d needed this until now.
My tears soaked into his T-shirt. I fisted a tight handful of the material, blubbering out a sob filled, “What are you doing here?”
“Did you think I was really going to leave my girl in here all alone?” Auryn beamed a brilliant smile at me when I peered up at him. “I couldn’t stand to be away from you any longer. I needed to see you.”
I’d started to lose track of how many days I’d been here. After my seventy-two hours were up, I was free to leave. I’d chosen to stay, hoping to get some kind of help that I could carry with me out of this place. This was a risky time to miss classes. Iwas hoping I didn’t need to be here too long and that I would be able to catch up. Seeing Auryn was the best medicine.
Remembering the way he told me that he loved me had helped me get through the last several days. Every now and then this little niggling voice tried to plant seeds of doubt. Reminding me that he wasn’t the long haul type of guy. Everyone knew him as a man always on the prowl for a new conquest. How could I believe that he’d changed?
Staring up into his brown eyes, I saw nothing but genuine affection. Concern for me. So much so that he’d checked himself into this place. How could I not believe that he changed?
