Now her tone took on a hard edge. I was glad I couldn’t see her face. I knew her blue eyes would be bloodshot. Glassy and unfocused. Most likely sunken from lack of proper sleep and nutrition.
“I thought you were getting government assistance. What happened to that?” I did my best to keep my tone neutral.
I didn’t judge anyone who needed assistance here and there, but my mother had been abusing the system for a long time now. She was more than capable of fending for herself. She simply chose not to. Preferring to spend her days and nights intoxicated. Passing her time with those who fed her more drugs.
“It’s gone until next month. It’s barely enough to cover the rent anyway. You really screwed me when you left. Would itreally hurt you to help your own mother in a time of need?” She made a noise, as if she were disgusted with this conversation.
That made two of us. We’d had similar conversations repeatedly since I moved out. I’d lost count of how much money I’d given her. Most of my tips ended up in her hands.
Wanting desperately to end this conversation, I sighed, giving in. “I’ll see what I can do tomorrow. It’s late. Goodnight.”
I ended the call before she spoke another word. Thankfully, she didn’t call back. I had a small stash of money in my purse from cash tips. It wasn’t much, but it would be enough to get her a fix or two, since I knew that’s what she really wanted it for.
An uncomfortable knot in the pit of my stomach had me reaching for the pill bottle in my purse. The contents were painfully low. I popped two in my mouth before sending a text to my dealer for more. A man I met through a guy at work. He usually came through for me within a day or two.
Wrapping my robe around me, I left my room, heading to the bathroom down the hall. That’s where I found the razor I often used tucked away in my makeup bag under the sink where I left it.
I pulled the razor out, turning it over between my fingers while staring at it. Auryn’s words echoed in my head. His vicious command that I never do this again.
He really didn’t understand that it wasn’t so simple. Part of me needed to do it. To find the release that only came when I felt the sting of the blade.
For a long time, I simply stared at the razor. Feeling the cold metal between my fingertips. With a long shuddery breath, I placed it back in my makeup bag under the sink and returned to my bedroom.
Once the pills kicked in, I would feel a little better anyway. I just needed to sleep and forget about everything for a while.
CHAPTER TEN
RIPLEY
When Monday rolled around and classes resumed, I found myself wondering if the weekend had even really happened. All it took was seeing Jamie’s bruised face and black eye in my morning class to confirm that it had been undeniably real. And holy shit, were his fingers bandaged? When did that happen?
I managed to sit across the room from him. He never tried to talk to me, even though I felt his stare upon me several times. When I finally had a break between classes, I met up with the girls outside at our usual picnic table. I was happy. The weather was nice enough again for us to enjoy some fresh air before we were stuffed back into a classroom.
Even though I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry, I made an effort to eat the sandwich and protein bar in my bag. I had to swing by my mom’s later to give her some money. A visit that I was not looking forward to. It didn’t help that I’d taken my last two pills this morning.
“And when I showed up at the bar, he didn’t look anything like his profile picture. Total catfish. I turned around and walked right back out of there.” Athena laughed, giving her hair a toss before sipping from her iced coffee. She’d been regaling us withtales of her last Tinder date. “I’m done with those apps. Nothing but creeps and fakes.”
“Yeah, why bother with that when you have all of this to choose from?” Luna waved a hand to indicate the many guys hanging out all around us. “It’s a buffet of jocks, frat guys, and emo dudes with painted fingernails. Those guys are actually pretty cute though.”
Following her gesture, I glanced around at the guys she indicated. I quickly averted my gaze when I saw Jamie seated on a bench several yards away, talking with another guy from our class. Why did he have to be everywhere I went?
“I don’t know. I need something different. I need a challenge.” With a shrug, Athena glanced around dismissively. “Every guy I meet bores the hell out of me these days. I need someone who can keep me on my toes.”
“Good call,” Storm agreed. “As someone who married a man that keeps me on my toes, I fully endorse this plan. Stop wasting time with guys that you’ll never see again. Hold out for someone who makes you want to see him again.”
Athena wrinkled her nose. “I find it hard to believe that man exists for me.”
“It’s always when you least expect it that it finds you,” Luna said, a secretive smile stealing over her face.
“We can’t all have a tattoo covered hottie who speaks louder with actions than with words,” I teased. “Don’t rub it in.”
Luna and Casper Callahan were head over heels for each other. He’d gone over and above to prove how much she meant to him. Even taking a bullet for her. I knew then that my opinion regarding the Kings needed to change. They weren’t all bad, even if they did bad things. It wasn’t always so black and white.
Luna’s smile grew even wider. “He really is one of a kind. But I know you and Athena will find your perfect match when the time is right. And I’ll be the first one to congratulate you.”
Both Athena and I rolled our eyes in unison before bursting into giggles. Codie shook her finger at us. “You guys laugh now. Personally, I think you both secretly want to find that perfect guy. The one that makes you swoon every time you look at him.”
Athena totally sold me out by saying, “Ripley may have already found hers. Her fake boyfriend.”
