I look at Roman, who now looks sad. I know that feeling too.
“But!” Connor adds, clapping his hands. “We have tonight to celebrate! One more night in Vancouver!”
The guys whoop and cheer. Except for Roman. He just keeps staring at me.
Étienne and I mingle with them through the speeches and performances.
The energy is joyful but bittersweet.
We did it.
But now it’s time to go.
As the night dwindles down, it gets more emotional. We pass people hugging and crying, no doubt not wanting to leave new friends they made. It’s easy to connect with people here, with people so much like you, but when it’s time to leave, and you live in other countries, well, that’s not so easy.
When the flame is extinguished, I can’t stop staring at it. Not until I feel a burn on the side of my face and turn to see that Roman has been watching me the entire time.
He steps closer, brushing my arm with his.
“Stay with me tonight?” he asks, almost pleading.
I force a smile. “Planned on it, Big Guy.”
His smile is small and sad.
“Let’s go get some food!” Connor shouts.
He’s always shouting. Always so loud.
How do people deal with me when I act like that?
“You hungry?” Roman asks.
“Not really, but I’ll go if you are.”
He nods and we turn to follow the rest of the crowd.
Buses are waiting to bring us back to the Village, and the energy goes with us.
Happy but with a lingering sadness. We all know there isn’t much time left. And each step I take, each second that passes, that realization hits me a little harder… right in the chest.
Until I feel like I can’t breathe at all.
I’m grateful when Roman calls it a night, telling Connor he’s going to the room. Connor gives him a knowing look, like he understands what he’s saying, and I wonder for a quick moment if he knows about us.
If so, I’m not mad about it. Maybe I like knowing that someone knows what we’ve been up to…
Connor did burst into the room the other morning, but I wasn’t sure he’d noticedme. I was half buried under Roman.
“I’m going to stay too,” Étienne says, looking at me carefully.
“Okay…” I say, feeling a little confused. I don’t know if he’s saying it that way because he wants me to stay too or if he’s just letting me know. “I’m not,” I add.
“Oh, I figured,” Étienne says. “Just wanted to let you know…”
“Uh huh…” I glance at Connor, who quickly looks away and smiles at the nearest person, acting like he was in on their conversation the entire time.
Roman and I don’t hide the fact that we are leaving together, but we also don’t make it obvious. We don’t hold hands and he doesn’t have his arm around my shoulders, though I do wonder what that would be like.
