“Me, too. I didn’t expect you to be the man for me,” she said almost to herself.
“Believe me, I’m perfectly aware of that,” he said. “What changed your mind?”
She pretended to think about it because she really didn’t have an answer. He was just so right for Bella Ann—even her mother had said that he would make a good father to her daughter. But that was for Bella and not for her. Fiona didn’t know what made him right for her. She wasn’t too sure hewas“right.”
“I don’t know.”
He glanced over at her and then back at the road. “What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged, but then realized he couldn’t see the gesture. “I’m not sure what I mean. I only know that you’ll be a good father to my daughter and that was the most important criterion for me when I went to the matchmaker.”
“Aren’t we good together?” he asked.
“We are. We are more than compatible in bed. That was on my list,” she said.
“Mine, too,” he acknowledged. “Is it my sense of style?”
“Well, you are a little conservative, but that suits you, so I wouldn’t change that.”
“What is it then?”
Suddenly she realized that she was afraid she wasn’t enough for Alex. That the problems she saw all had to do with her andnot him. Could she be as good at parenting as he would be? She knew he’d only get better at it. Could she find a way to fit into his life as easily as he had fit into hers? She didn’t think so. She barely understood what he did.
“It’s me,” she said.
He cursed and started to slow the car as traffic got heavier while they changed highways to head toward Brooklyn and her home there.
“Is this one of those ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ talks?” he asked her.
“No. It really is me. You’ve found a way to make all the little details of my life work with yours. I don’t know if I can do that for you. I’m not sure I understand enough about your job to talk about it at a dinner party.”
“You’ll do fine,” he said, pulling to a stop in front of her newly renovated brownstone in Park Slope. “Is that really your only concern?”
“Yes, I think it is,” she said.
He leaned across the seat and kissed her softly and surely. “That’s nothing. I don’t socialize that much. You and Bella are the most important things to me. As long as I have the two of you, I’ll be great.”
She wanted to believe him, but she knew she hadn’t been enough for Gio and he’d left her and the baby. And they’d had everything in common. She reached into the backseat and unfastened Bella’s safety belt. Alex got out of the car and came around to open her door before getting Bella out of her seat in back. He handed the baby to her.
“I don’t know how to convince you,” he said.
“I don’t know if you can,” she admitted. She started walking toward her front door while Alex finished removing the car seat.
As Alex brought the rest of the baby’s stuff in and put it on the hallway floor, Fiona knew she was losing him and that she should say something to make him stay with her. But she didn’twant to be a mistake for Alex or to make an even bigger one for Bella Ann.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what this is really all about, but I think you’re wrong.”
She didn’t say anything and just stared at her for another minute. “Fine. I guess I’ll see you at the next taped date.”
“Yes.”
He walked out the door and she knew that nothing would ever be the same between them again.
Chapter Eight
Fiona didn’t let Alex even get to the end of the street before she called him on his cell. Bella Ann had been staring at the door since the moment that Alex left. She was starting to really miss him when he was gone.
“Yes?” he answered.
