“Are you wondering what I’m doing?” Alex asked the baby.
She made another little sound.
“I’m coding a new game. I’ve been stuck trying to think of a way to make it do what I wanted, but your mom helped me clear my head.”
Clear his head? The man definitely needed to work on—what? Listening to him try to explain computer coding to a eight-month-old was funny and sweet and she realized that Alex in all his awkwardness actually had the potential to be a great father. She hurried upstairs and grabbed her charcoal pencils and sketchpad.
She was on her way back down the stairs when she heard Bella start crying. She flew down them and ran into the office to find Alex pacing around the room and trying to rock Bella.
“What happened?”
“She pulled the keyboard down on herself. I tried to catch it but . . . ” he said.
She walked over to him and took Bella into her arms, rocking the little girl. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her; Fiona suspected that Bella had just scared herself with the keyboard.
“I’m sorry. I was paying attention to her. I never thought she’d do that.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. What if she’d really hurt herself? She needs a father who can watch over her and protect her. Not one who is busy trying to get things to work in a certain way . . . I’m very sorry, Fiona. I think I need to rethink this entire thing.”
“Why?”
He shook his head as he walked toward the door. “As you said before, Bella is a game changer and if I screw up it could have long-range consequences for her.”
“I know that. I think it was just a little accident,” Fiona said. “I’m not as upset by this as you seem to be. She chewed on one of my charcoal pencils the other day.”
“That’s what I mean. Babies are unpredictable and I’m not sure . . . I’m just not sure,” he said. “I think I’d better "
"Go? Back to Manhattan?"
"No I have home here too."
"Oh. I didn't realize that," she said.
"I’ll see you next week for our date.”
He walked out the door and she just watched him leave. She wasn’t entirely convinced that he was leaving just because of the accident with Bella. There was a lot more to Alex than met the eye and she wondered what had really spooked him. Did she want to keep seeing a man she was starting to care about when clearly he wasn’t sure what he wanted?
Alex went backto New York the next day and spent three nights alone, dreaming of Fiona before he could come up with a solution to the problem as he saw it. He knew that making BellaAnn the reason he left wasn’t fair to the little girl. But he was unwilling to admit his fear about the situation. So he’d lit on the one thing that made sense—the concrete thing.
He knew nothing about babies; all he knew was that he didn’t want to see Bella Ann get hurt—physically or emotionally. And before he continued dating Fiona, Alex knew he had to be sure he could live up to his end of the bargain. Bella Ann already had one father who didn’t want to know her. Alex understood that once he committed to that role, he could never leave her.
So, finally, before his next date with Fiona, he’d called his mom. If there was one parent he could go to for advice on this, it would be her. To be honest, he hadn’t wanted to call her because he knew she’d ask all kinds of questions about Fiona and the matchmaker; he hadn’t even told his parents he was going to one yet.
But he didn’t let his natural reticence stop him. She was the expert and he needed advice.
“Hi, Mom,” he said when she answered her cell phone.
“Hi, Alex. Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Yes, it’s fine. I have two things to ask you. First, do you mind if I bring the woman I’m dating and her parents to our Mother’s Day brunch on Sunday?”
“Oh, that would be wonderful!” she said. “You didn’t tell me you were seeing someone. Who is she? And when did you two start dating?”
“Her name is Fiona McCaw and we started dating two weeks ago. Which brings me to my second question—what does it take to be a good a parent?” he asked.
His mother gasped. “Is she pregnant? How could you know you’re going to be a father already?”
