I never thought Alina would fall into the same trap that they did.
“I’m sorry,” Alina whispers again, blinking her eyes rapidly to keep her glistening tears at bay. “I know I should’ve told you before, and I shouldn’t have done what I did in the first place. It won’t happen again.”
Obviously, I don’t see what she does in Gavriil, but I want more than just repeated apologies from her. I need explanations because as much as I wish I could read her mind, I can’t.
“So, you admit it? You want Gavriil?” I ask her, watching her expression shift from shame to confusion in real time.
“He infuriates me, Dom,” she admits, her fingers twisting in the fabric of her sleeve like she wants to tear it apart. “There are times when I can’t stand to look at his smug face. And then…”
Something clamps down around my chest, squeezing until every breath is labored. It’s like the damn world is sitting on my chest right now. That’s how much her answer means to me.
“I don’t know how to answer that question.” Alina sighs as her shoulders drop. “I just know I don’t want to lose you,” she says, desperation bleeding into every word. “I can’t.”
The desperation in her voice soothes some of my anxiety. She’s not lying to me. Not about this.
I fold my arms behind my head, trying to breathe easier and think clearer. I should’ve seen this coming. Gavriil was determined to break her down to this point. And the worst part was that it worked. Not completely, but enough.
I know Alina would still run back to me in a heartbeat. At least for now.
And maybe we can use Gavriil’s obsession with her to turn the tables on him once and for all.
Until then…I won’t punish her for his manipulation.
“Come here,” I murmur, even though lowering my guard like this feels dangerous in ways bullets never have.
She and Gavriil have the power to hurt me the most, but I don’t believe that she’s trying to hurt me on purpose. I see how she feels written all over her beautiful face.
Alina swallows once, then she’s in my arms, colliding with me like she’s afraid I’ll disappear.
I close my eyes as I wrap my arms around her shoulders, holding her close as she sinks into me. Fuck, it feels too good to have her back in my arms.
Too good to give up for that son of a bitch.
That’s exactly what he wants me to do. It’s probably why he sent her down here while I was still fucking furious with him.
If I could kill him, things would be much easier. It’s not something I ever saw myself doing before Alina.
Since my walls are already down, I find myself telling Alina something that I’ve never told anyone before.
There’s no point pretending I’m stronger than this when she can already see every crack.
“I owe Gavriil my life. That’s why I followed him without question for years, why I never asked who I was becoming as long as he was still standing.”
She looks up at me, her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“He killed our father to save me. Nearly died fighting him, too. We told everyone it was an assassination attempt, that we barely made it out alive. For years we had to pretend to chase down his attacker.”
“Jesus, Dom. That’s awful. I’m so sorry you went through that,” Alina whispers.
“Gavriil was barely twenty-five. He stepped in asPakhanto keep anyone from questioning our father’s death, from questioning us. He became…ruthless so we could survive. That’s why I followed him blindly for over ten years now. But I’m done…” I admit quietly. “Done letting his sacrifice decide who I’m allowed to be.”
“I’m sorry, for everything,” Alina says again and again into my chest with shuddery breaths.
My fingers breeze through her still damp hair as I rest my chin on the top of her head and try not to think about them showering together. Agony still echoes through me, but I know it would hurt even more to lose her. I’m not going to be an idiot and push away the woman I love. I’m not letting Gavriil win this war.
“There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you,” I say, and I hate how true it is, that she has that kind of power over me. Hopefully, she’ll have the same power over my brother soon.
Alina tightens her grip on me. “But I…”
