For the first time, I understand how empires fall.
Jealousy makes people weak and stupid, and I refuse to be either of those things.
Yet, I can’t take my eyes off the screen as they reunite once more, my heart slowly sinking to the bottom of my stomach.
22
Alina
“I missedyou so fucking much. How are you here? Am I dreaming?”
Dominik’s questions are good ones, but I don’t have an answer to them.
Something snapped in Gavriil after…what we did in the shower. Guilt churns in my stomach, sour and violent, as I think about it.
I betrayed Dominik by letting Gavriil touch me like that, by touching him. At first, I wanted to hurt him, but then I couldn’t stop. It always feels like I’m caught under some sort of spell when I’m around Gavriil. I get swept up in what he makes me feel, even if I don’t want to feel those things.
Maybe he sent me here to make me feel bad, to punish me with Dom’s eyes, with what he knows I won’t be able to confess.
Dominik cups my face in his hands, his eyes roaming over me like he can read the betrayal under my skin. “What’s wrong?”
Does he somehow know?
I don’t answer. I can’t.
Instead of saying what I know will only push him away, I do what I’ve wanted to do for a long time now. I lift up onto my toes and press my lips against his. My fingers twist into the hair at the nape of his neck like I’m anchoring myself to the only thing that’s ever felt safe. I’ve missed him so damn much.
Dominik melts into me like he’s been starving too. Hishands slide up my back to hold me close. When he feels a flash of tongue against his bottom lip, begging to be let in, he pauses.
“There’s a camera in here,” he warns, his breath ragged. “Gavriil could be watching. Or a guard.”
Heat flickers low in my stomach. I hope he’s right.
I want Gavriil to watch us and choke on the sight. I want him to feel jealous, to hate every second of seeing me willingly touch Dom without any manipulation.
“I don’t care,” I whisper to him before kissing him again, desire flooding my veins as his tongue teases mine. I need something that’s mine, even if it’s only for a minute.
Finally, we have nothing holding us back. No injury. No separation. Nothing.
For one breath, it feels like we’re free.
“Fuck,” Dominik breathes out as I slip my hands up underneath his shirt. “No, wildcat. Not here.” His forehead presses to mine similar to the way Gavriil’s did just minutes ago. “Not in my brother’s prison.”
Disappointment floods me. “He could take me away at any moment and I may not get to come back.”
Dominik shakes his head and takes my hands. “He won’t always come between us.”
Easy for him to say.
“Let me just hold you,” he says before he kisses me again deeply, his hands roaming over my body, not to caress and tease but as if to assure himself I’m really here. That I’m safe.
I don’t deserve his protection after what just happened.
But it feels so good to be touched by him again. The thought of Gavriil fades to the very back of my mind as Dominik guides me down to his mattress.
“Come here,” he says. Grabbing the backs of my thighs, he lifts me so that I’m straddling his waist. Instead of making it a provocative position, one promising more to come, he just holds me to his chest and strokes his palm over my damp hair.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he rasps, and it sounds like a confession as he presses a kiss to my temple.
