Since I let her sleep in my bed with me all night, breaking my one rule.
Since I allowed Dominik and Alina to finally see each other so she would stop hurting herself.
And thinking about their embrace.
Dominik was supposed to think that we had fucked when he saw her in my shirt and lost his temper instead of begging for forgiveness.
Alina was supposed to hate him, to lash out, to turn away from him after what he took from her.
But instead, she clung to him like she can’t bear to be without him. Like her brother’s death and her separation from Dominik hasn’t changed their relationship. The way she was so quick to forgive him claws at my gut.
I thought she would’ve bent to my will by now, but she’s still stubborn, still tethered to my brother in ways I can’t sever.
And he’s still in love with her.
That’s the other part I can’t control.
If he continues to choose her over me, then the goddamn burden I’ve spent years carrying for him was all for nothing!
“Fuck,” I mutter as I set down my glass with a loud clatter on my desk.
Sitting here isn’t going to fix all the fucking problems that I have to deal with, and I’m up to my neck in them. We’re launching an attack on the Irish patrol to send a clear message that the Irish will all die before they get their hands on our territory.
It’s bad enough that I can’t even get things under control under my own goddamn roof.
With a sharp exhale, I stand up from my desk to leave my office, automatically gravitating to my bedroom with a slight stagger. I’ve been steering clear of Alina for the most part. I take her meals to her, then watch her eat and drink on the surveillance camera.
I returned her mattress and blanket, but not her own clothes. I prefer to see her wearing my shirts. I enjoyed rubbing that fact in my brother’s face, reminding him that I’ve seen his sweetdikaya koshkanaked, had her in my bed, held her in my arms.
And now I’m finding it exceedingly hard not to carry her back to my bed with me every second of the damn day.
The only reason I haven’t tried is because she’s strong enough now to refuse me.
And while that defiance once would’ve turned me on like nothing else, I’m not sure if I could handle it now.
Something has changed, and it’s making me unsteady.
I nod to Valentin standing guard outside the bedroom before I enter it, my shadow falling upon Alina from the light cast from the bedside lamps.
My eyes settle on her as she sits on the mattress and works her fingers through her hair to braid it.
She’s nearly made a full recovery after almost an entire week of eating and hydrating like a normal human being. Now, she must be bored out of her mind.
Or deep in thought.
I continue watching her, tension winding around my chest when her eyes meet mine. She doesn’t shrink back or tense up, though. She just stares back at me with no fear, like I’m a regular person.
Like I’m nothing.
Returning to the hallway, I tell Valentin in Russian, “Go downstairs. I want you to assist the guards in the prison with Dominik’s punishment.”
I blame my brother for Timur’s death. He’s also the reason Alina nearly disappeared right in front of my eyes.
Valentin frowns. “Sir?”
“You heard me. I want to make him less comfortable. He’s to be chained standing up throughout the day. Release him at midnight. That’s when he can eat, drink, and sleep. Then, repeat in the morning at sunrise. He obviously needs to be reminded who he answers to.”
“I thought we were just isolating him from his men,” Valentin replies as he scratches the back of his neck. “Isn’t that what you said a few days ago?”
