As soon as I’m sitting with my back against the tub, I finally lift my eyes to find her standing close enough to touch, completely naked in front of me for the first time.
“You’re so damn beautiful,dikaya koshka.” Her cheeks flush as I hold out my hand to help her step over and join me.
Watching her lower herself in front of me, her bare backside brushing the front of my body is a gift I never thought I would receive.
Alina settles herself between my outstretched legs, leaning her back and head against my chest and shoulder with a heavy sigh.
My arms wrap around her, holding on to her tight and placing a kiss on the top of her head.
Neither of us speak until the water nears the top, and I finally shut off the faucet.
That’s when I nuzzle my nose into her hair to tell her, “I’ve wanted to do this, to just hold you, for so long.”
Alina takes my hands and gives them a squeeze. “Me too.”
Now we finally have the chance to be together. Nothing is keeping us apart. Nothing is holding us back.
We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but we’re here together right now.
Tonight, I want to hold her, to make her mine in every way.
I brush my lips over her ear, then her shoulder, which is when I’m hit with an all too familiar scent.
Gavriil.
They said goodbye earlier. He probably hugged her. Possibly even kissed her on her neck, her lips…
I slip her hair to the side to kiss her over the same spot, wanting to erase him.
“I slept with Gavriil,” Alina whispers as if hearing the words spoken softly makes them less excruciating.
I can’t speak, can’t respond as my head spins.
This time, I know she means they did more than just sleep.
She let him touch her, kiss her, bury himself inside her, while I’ve never had that pleasure.
“We didn’t use protection, and I don’t regret any part of it,” she goes on to say, cutting me deeper with each word. “I only regret that it hurt you. That’s not what I ever wanted to do, but…I won’t apologize anymore or pretend like it was a mistake. Gavriil never made me apologize for loving you...”
She won’t apologize. Not that it would help or change a goddamn thing.
Neither of us speak or move for a long time, not even when the water begins to cool.
“Dom?” Alina finally asks.
“What do you want me to say, Alina? You’re not asking for my forgiveness, so I can’t give that to you.”
“Just say something. Please.”
“Do you want to hear that I’m jealous? I am. I hate that he caused you so much pain and you still let him have you first,” I admit. “I wish you would tell me that it’s over, and that you’ll never think about him again.”
“I can’t make that promise,” she replies.
“Fuck,” I groan. I remove my arms from her waist to rest them on the lip of the tub while leaning my head back. “I know that, Alina. You think I could forget?” I let out a disgusted laugh. “I wish I could go longer than five minutes pretending you’re mine. Only mine. But that’s impossible, isn’t it?”
Alina turns around so that she’s kneeling between my legs, facing me, dripping wet and naked. She doesn’t fight fair. Especially when she grabs my chin and leans forward to press her lips to mine.
“There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you.” Alina kisses me between each and every word. Sitting back to look me in the eyes she says, “That’s what you said. And I believe you. Even now. Especially now. So, prove it to me, Dom.”
