Everything that was seriously over the line and emotionally abusive. It hurt my heart.
“I have only one question before I give you the answer I think you know is coming, love,” I said gently after listening for about ten minutes. I waited until he nodded before taking in a slow breath. “Did she always want them or did she change her mind after being married and reaching a new stage in her life?”
She’d always wanted them. It was all over his face and despair, but he wouldn’t say it, glancing away.
“Oh, you’re a loyal one who won’t even snitch on his wife when she’s being a problem,” I mumbled as I rubbed his arm. “You deserve better.” I nodded when he blinked at me in shock. “There are alotof us who don’t want kids, love. Saying you don’t want them is completely acceptable. Completely. You’re not broken.”
“But—”
“No but,” I said firmly. “You will have brokenchildren. The ones who are pushed or forced to have children become broken and so do those kids. It’s why there are so many of usnowwho don’t want kids. We were the kids of people who shouldn’t have been parents. We saw the damage that was done.”
“That’s part of it but…” He sighed. He gave me a look and begged me to understand him somehow.
I nodded that I did even if I wouldn’t have had any clue if I wasn’t a demon and felt his desire. But I did and saw that he looked at kids and felt nothing. He had nieces and nephews and saw they were cute and would color with them or play for a bit, but he notoncethought he wanted ones of his own.
Never.
“Then it’s not for you,” I promised him.
“She says that I’ll die alone and no one will be there to take care of me when I’m old if I don’t have kids,” he worried.
I snorted, shocking him. “If you have kids for such a selfish fucking reason, they won’t be there to take care of you when you’re old either, love. I promise. They’ll be out the moment they can like so many of us have escaped our toxic homes. Having kids isn’t a binding contract they’ll take care of you. Or you could have psychopaths who fuck you over even if you’re the—”
“Yup, got it, thanks,” he chuckled, waving me off like he didn’t need more reasons not to not have them. He chuckled again and shook his head at me. “Wow, who thought coming here tonight to hide from her at the one place she hates like my own defiance would really give me the answers, huh?”
I winked at him. “You find the children of angels in the strangest of places to help you out when you need it.” I rubbed his arm again. “I can’t tell you what to do, but from an outside perspective and from someone who has an amazingly supportive partner, you’re being emotionally abused. So I hope you leaveand find better. You deserve better, not a liar who wasted your time.”
“Thanks, Erika. Really.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left a fat tip on the table before heading out.
The server nodded for me to have it, but I waved it off. She snorted. “That was for your therapy session, girl. And seriously, you’re good. I want to sit down and tell you all my problems too.”
I was about to give a joking brush-off but then realized that was probably a smart idea. I smiled at her. “I got time as long as you take me to lunch around here where I won’t fucking get food poisoning.” I nodded when she hesitated. “Seriously, I don’t mind. I had a lot of help and people listening to me so…” I shrugged.
“You’re one to pay it forward,” she surmised.
“That I am,” I promised. I was glad when she took me up on it and gave me her number saying she’d text me. That worked out because I was striking out on info about the club and dancers, but one of the servers could absolutely bitch about work and give me insight.
I ended up learning a lot, simply not anything that could help me with the one I was hunting. So it wasn’t a total loss at least ruling out who to talk with and ideas… Or that was what I told myself so I didn’t get discouraged.
“A demon with a conscience who wants god’s children to find better paths sounds like the ultimate cosmic joke,” a voice said from the darkness as I walked out to my vehicle later.
And the guy from security who had escorted me didn’t react to it.
“Got it from here, love,” I told him with a wink. “Have a good one.”
“Yeah, heard you had a lover and weren’t open to getting hit on,” he grumbled before giving a half wave and heading back to the door.
I continued to walk towards my car as I looked at where the voice had come from. “And someone throwing judgments from the shadows looking down on a child of god’s soldiers sounds like not someone worthy of my time.”
That worked and amassiveman appeared about twenty feet away from the car, studying me in a way I didn’t like. I pretended not to care as I unlocked my car and tossed in my purse.
But the real goal was the knife so I could quickly cut my dampeners should I need to… Because I was pretty sure I was going to need to.
“I have been watching you.”
I snickered, which seemed to confuse him. “Most don’t think to brag about being stalkers.”
Anger filled his eyes, but then he was curious again. “You are a smart one. I’ve seen that. You’re stalling to call for help or—”
