Chapter Thirty-Four
Walker
Walker put himself to work. It was the only thing he could do to distract himself from the turmoil inside. After the night he and Gabi had shared, the last thing he’d expected to wake up to was an empty bed. Even Fatboy Jim had gone, leaving just a small dent in the duvet. He’d sat up, stunned, and it took a moment for it to sink in. She’d left. After everything he’d said and shared. She’d gone. All his fears had been proven true. He’d bared his soul and it wasn’t enough. And he never would be.
He heaved at a fallen bough and set about clearing the debris left by the storm on the riverbank at the rowing club. The River Rats would be turning up soon for their lessons and he didn’t want the kids tripping up and falling in. He dragged the bigger branches to one side and checked the jetty for damage. When he was done, he moved to the boat house to inspect the rowing boats and life jackets. By the time the kids started to arrive, he was satisfied everything was safe but felt no calmer on the inside. His guts were churning with anxiety. He could kick himself. Why had he said any of that last night? What an idiot.
Rosie and Wren were early, their daughter Riley streaking ahead to throw herself at his legs. He caught her and swung her in the air. Rosie was rosy-cheeked; Wren was white as a ghost and carrying a water bottle.
‘There he is, our resident hero,’ Rosie said, reaching up to kiss his cheek.
‘Shut your face,’ he said with a half-smile and a shake of the head. He leaned over to kiss Wren, but she put one hand on his chest to stop him, and the other over her mouth.
‘Don’t,’ she muttered, turning a shade of green. ‘Not feeling the best today. . .’
Wren stumbled away to a nearby bench and Rosie watched until she sat.
‘Anyway, Walker McBride.’ She faced him again. ‘Good night?’ She raised a single eyebrow. Everyone knew he’d gone home with Gabi. His heart sank.
‘Definitely memorable,’ Walker said, resisting the urge to tell her everything. He couldn’t even get it straight in his head, so had no idea how to put it into words. He’d thought things were finally on the up, but they seemed to have come crashing down again while he was still sleeping.
‘Here they come,’ Rosie said, watching a small procession of kids and parents arrive along the riverside path. ‘Time to get this show on the road.’
Fox, Reggie and George all wore River Rats caps, although Fox wore his backwards. Etienne followed just behind, carrying the register and the money tin. Jayden cartwheeled along the bank and Walker looked for Amber. His heart sank when he instead spotted Gabi hobbling along the path. Fuck. He wasn’t ready for that. And she looked good too.
‘Gabi!’ Rosie waved. ‘Come join!’ Gabi looked over, caught his eye and had the grace to blush.
Walker ignored her, turned and began bringing the starter rafts out. Ten minutes later, the younger age group, including Riley, Reggie and George, wore life jackets and were heading out on the water with their instructors. Rosie passed him a coffee and went to watch from the jetty, while Wren gagged from the smell and moved away, leaving him next to Gabi. His stomach clenched.
‘Hi, you.’ Her voice was low and quiet. It took him back to his pillow and the darkness in the room as she told him about her childhood. She’d been so open about things that were so painful. Was she going to act now like everything was normal? Like last night hadn’t happened at all?
‘Gabi,’ Etienne said, striding towards them. He put his hands out pleadingly. ‘I need your help. You’ve got to talk to Isabella about the wedding. I don’t want to wait any more but she’s digging her heels in.’
Walker saw Gabi’s eyes flick towards him, but he moved away, wanting to escape from her and from talk of marriages. He was simmering inside with hurt. He thought they’d shared something– not just the sex, although that had been fucking amazing; more of a connection. He’d told her his secrets. He’d told her what fuelled his bad dreams and what he was most afraid of in life. Why he would never be good enough. And after laying himself bare, she obviously agreed with him. Because she’d got up in the night and snuck off, unable to even look at him in the cold light of day.
He passed Wren, who was now sitting with her head between her knees, and stormed inside to get out the rowing boats for the older age group. Jayden appeared beside him to help carry one to the water. Walker threw him a life jacket and got a thumbs up in return. If only everything was so easily sorted.
He found himself in a group again on the bank with Fox, Etienne and Gabi as they watched the older children row away. She was chatting and joining in, but he felt like he had a stone stuck in his throat. He forced a laugh when necessary, but avoided Gabi’s dark brown eyes at all costs. Not allowing himself to look down into her face as she stood next to him. Conscious of how small she was and remembering how his body had covered hers in the night. He shook his head.
Suddenly the others were gone. Etienne giving Wren a lift home after she vomited behind a tree. Fox to sort out the boys as they disembarked their raft. There was no escape as Gabi put a hand on his arm. He flinched.
‘Walks,’ she said.
Walks? What was that? A pet name for him to let him down gently? He frowned.
‘We should probably talk about last night?’ She glanced behind her to make sure there were no little ears around. He straightened and saw the flick of her eyes to his chest as he braced himself.
‘Figured there wasn’t much to talk about since you were up and out so early this morning.’ It sounded harsher than he’d meant it to. She blinked and he noticed the creep of colour on her neck.
‘I’m not normally one for sleepovers,’ she said quietly. ‘And I had an interview for a film in America first thing this morning.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘You could have left at any time last night.’
She tried a smile and dared a joke. ‘Not strictly true, my hands were tied.’ The image of her with hands bound flashed through his mind. He kept his face impassive. He would not be drawn into banter.
‘What do you want, Gabi?’ He felt tired suddenly. The night had taken its toll. The anxiety of the awards, the intensity of the sex, the lows of the storm and the weight of the shared conversation. He was shattered. Gabi pressed her mouth together. He watched her and wondered how she’d phrase it. Would she just come out with it and call him a coward? Would she tell him he was a loser that watched his best friend drown? That she really didn’t think they should see each other again?
‘I’m only here for about another month,’ she said eventually.
