He was quiet for a moment, studying me with those steady blue eyes. “Someone who’s brave and ready to face the unknown even when it scares you.”
That settled in my heart. Jameson might look like a gruff, rugged mountain man. But he paid more attention than Colineverhad.
“Sometimes I don’t feel very brave.”
“What, like with the fence tonight?”
“No. I’m comfortable living with my fear of heights. But… I’ve been struggling to make a decision for the last five years, and I just keep putting it off.”
“What kind of decision?”
I laughed and swatted his arm, then thought better of it when sparks flew up my fingers where I’d touched him. He was still half-naked after all, and only sitting a few inches away.
But I wasn’t going to dump my work drama on this poor man. He’d end up listening to me all night, or scaling that fence just to get away from me.
“Mm, I don’t want to bore you with the details. What about you?” I asked. “Do you have someone waiting for you at home?”
“No,” he shook his head, his jaw clenching. “I… don’t really do relationships.”
“Ever?”
“It’s easier not to let people in.” He said it matter-of-factly, as if he were stating a simple truth about the weather.
“Haven’t youeverwanted someone in your life?”
He was quiet for a long moment, staring into the flames. “My parents were a cautionary tale.”
I furrowed my brow.
“My mom cut off her whole side of the family when I was a kid. Grandparents, aunts, cousins… all gone. Haven’t seen any of them since I was six. Then my dad did the same thing a few years later. Then we moved here to Red Oak Mountain. Now it's just my sis and me.”
"How horrible." My heart ached for him. I had a huge extended family.
“My parents fought constantly,” he said as he stoked the fire. “They stayed together ‘for the children’. When what they should have done is split up for our sake instead. Cindy and I learned pretty quickly that love is a myth. When you buy into it you’re just giving someone the power to hurt you.”
“I’m sorry.” My gaze dropped back down to the naked expanse of his chest again. The man was chiseled in a way I didn’t know was possible. “My parents were the opposite. It’s because of them that I’ve been looking for a happily ever after my whole life.”
“You? You’re gorgeous, hon. I bet there’s a ton of men who’d love to snatch you up.”
I snorted out a very unladylike laugh. “That’s where you’re wrong, Jameson. I know about men. They just want a fun ride for a night or two. Most of you aren’t looking to settle down. Not really. But you’re probably smarter for not even trying to playthe game. Maybe that’s what I should do. Oh! Now we’re back on the nunnery track again. Maybe I should enlist.”
That got a chuckle out of him, and I sensed him ease into my presence a little bit more. “It’s not like the military, Leah. You don’t enlist to become a nun.”
“How do you know what the process is?”
He shrugged, a gentle smile teasing his lips upward. “I don’t know, but I bet you don’t either. We’ll have to wait until we have internet again to find out.”
“So your parents were that bad?”
Jameson shrugged again. It appeared to be his stand-in for communication.
But then he opened up a little. “They’re not that bad on their own. But together, man, they’d forget all about us while they battled it out. And their fights were always stupid. About little things like which one of them didn’t unload the dishwasher at the end of the night.”
He stared at the fire so intently that we both fell into silence.
My parents had made love seem effortless. I couldn’t remember ever seeing them fight when I was growing up.
It was sad that his experience had been so different.
