Hope
Song: More Than a Feeling—Boston
August 1st, 1975
The band played “Pitiful Peaches” as their opener.The crowd went wild for the song.Jesse’s voice was unsteady at first, but as his confidence grew, so did his volume.
I found my mom in the crowd and danced with her.Darren’s dark hair glistened when a few sweat beads fell down his face.He squinted into the distance as he prepared for his solo.He must have spotted his family.His eyes darted back to his drumsticks when Tonya, Keith, and Mason paused for Darren to hit the drums.He licked his dry lips before he began.
Darren didn’t miss a beat.He hit his sticks perfectly onto the medium tom, alternating between the snare and floor tom.Jesse’s hum belched over the crashing sounds.It was touching.
I peered over my shoulder to capture Gabriel nodding his head to his son’s solo.Gabriel’s music taste was as bland as a saltine, and he only liked gospel and some operas, but he was doing his best to support his firstborn.Darren’s mother spun around, talking to people while yelling, “That’s my son!”
I was proud of how far Darren, and I had come.The song ended, with all of the members taking a bow.Darren jumped off the stage to watch the rest of the concert by my side.
“Your family is here!”I yelled over the blaring music.
“I know.I can stay with you, though,” he said.
“Go!Bring them up to the front.”
Shortly after Darren disappeared into the horde of people, he returned with his family.Doreen squeezed my legs, pulling me into what was supposed to be a hug.She held my legs briefly while jumping up and down.
Gabriel and his wife chatted with my momma.I might have even heard him apologize for his soldier-like demeanor during the funeral preparations.Betsy and Thomas also appeared out of the crowd and alerted us that they had broken up.Betsy was already informing me about a new boy she fancied.Nothing made Betsy slow down.I thought about introducing her to my co-worker Marvin.They would probably hit it off.Thomas seemed unaffected and told me he was sorry for my loss again.Zach emerged from the crowd with the others.I was sad I barely got to see Zach the entire summer, other than at the funeral.I missed talking to him and seeing how he was.
He leaned into me to yell, “I wanted to tell you what I meant at the funeral.James and I are heavier-set guys, and I had a crush on this girl last summer.I was too embarrassed to talk to the guys about it, so I told James.He grew up chubbier and gave me some heartfelt advice that happened to work out for me.He was a good guy.I wish I could have talked to him before ...you know.”
“Thanks, Zach.I guess there was more to him than even I knew.If you need any advice again, I won’t judge,” I said, unable to give him the closure he needed.
Jesse Young and The Matches played all of James and my favorite songs.I even convinced them to play “Dive In.”Most people at the event did not know their previous work.Nonetheless, many still hung around to see how much money was raised at the end of the night.
Keith put together the setlist, and he did a fantastic job.Each song flowed into the next one, forming a story of loss, love, and redemption.I hoped that he didn’t have to put up too much of a fight with Jesse for it.I convinced Darren to let Doreen sit on his shoulders so she could see the stage in full motion.I loved seeing her pigtails bouncing as she took in the music.I screamed the song’s lyrics as loud as I could, so James could hear me from wherever he was.
The sun started falling from the sky, and many guests began getting into their cars to leave.Mason noticed it, so the band wrapped up the last song of the evening.Jesse placed the microphone back onto the stand and went backstage to relax.Mason stood tall as he read from a notecard, “Thanks for coming out and raising money for the Hartley family.It says here that we raised a total of three thousand five hundred and twenty-two dollars!”
Momma grabbed my hands, jumping up and down in amazement.I joined her by hopping on my heels like a bunny.We would have more than enough money to pay rent, get groceries, and for momma to go to beauty school.We didn’t have to return to eating buttered noodles for dinner or cut back on anything.Jesse and the band had outdone themselves.They’d changed our lives in one single night.
I would have to tell Fernando and my co-workers at Grocery Outlet that I would be working fewer hours, but they already knew.People formed a line to congratulate us on our new wealth and sent their condolences for James’s death.It was also time to say goodbye to my dear friends.Betsy hugged me way too long and made me promise I would call her every week to update me on her life.Thomas talked to Darren while we discussed plans for our sophomore year.
“I don’t want to let go,” Betsy whined.
“It’s okay.I will be okay.We can schedule a sleepover sometime soon.I would love for you to visit over Thanksgiving break.We could have a girl’s weekend with Momma and go to the real movie theater to see Elvis on the big screen,” I said, hoping things wouldn’t change too much.
“Oh, that’s okay.I’ll miss you, though!If you need absolutely anything, call me,” she said, as we did our handshake for the last time.
Thomas wished me the best of luck, and Zach gave me a polite side hug when they left.
Once the field cleared, Darren got me a corndog for dinner since I had yet to eat.My stomach rumbled with hunger.My appetite for food had slowly re-emerged with time.Darren’s family rented a room and left so the kids could swim in the pool before it closed for the night.We sat on the edge of the stage while we ate and observed the bright ball of light in the sky sink into the dry grass.Sunsets in Butterfield were less extravagant than the ones in Moose Creek.The air was stuffier, but it was my home.Moose Creek was a getaway, and even though I wasn’t sure how I would go back, I knew I would see the cotton candy sky again one day.
Darren didn’t speak as we chewed because, after all the noise from the benefit, it was time to decompress.
I swung my feet off the stage.They were dirt-covered, and my anklet needed a good scrub in the sink.I wasn’t dirty per se, but it was time to get back to picking out my outfits, showering daily, and caring about my appearance instead of ignoring everything around me.I laid my head on Darren’s broad shoulder, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
Darren grasped my face by touching my chin and bringing it up to his.He kissed me for real that time.It wasn’t a quick peck or a kiss on my cheek.We pressed our lips together, opening them just enough to seep into each other.We got into the rhythm of kissing.His lips were gentle and rewarding.His dark hair was slick in my fingers, and his warm hands wrapped around my waist.A tiny yellow bird landed on the top of the stage and peered down on us, while it sang a tune of hope.
