Just forgetthat it ever happened?
No fucking chance.That night has been burned into my brain.I’ve been replaying it every chance I can.All that has been keeping me going these last few days has been the thought that we would do it again.
“No, we can’t just forget.Or I can’t anyway,” I tell her truthfully.
She looks stricken at my words, and my stomach starts to churn with doubts.It’s clear that she regrets our night together.
I had thought that we were finally on the same page, that we were going to move to the next level.I guess I was wrong about that, and now everything is messed up between us.
I debate for a second what to do.Should I try to let what could have been between us go?Or should I man up and finally tell her how I feel about her, how I’ve always felt about her?
“Lilliana, Snow,” I start, and she blinks those green eyes up at me.“I don’t want to forget our night together.I want to do it again, but if you don’t, then we can try to go back to being just friends.We’ll forget about the marriage pact and the other night.We’ll just be friends,” I tell her, trying not to show my disappointment.
She looks shocked, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open slightly.
“The truth is that I don’t want to though.I love you, Lilliana.I have since we were little kids.I’ve always wanted you; I just didn’t know how to tell you that when we were younger.”
“You have?”She asks quietly, and I nod.
“Yeah, I have.I tried to tell you once before you left for college,” I tell her, moving closer to her.
“When?”She asks.
“Remember that party we went to right before you left for college?”I ask, and she nods.“We were sitting on the porch swing in the backyard, and I thought that we were about to kiss, but then you?—”
“You pulled back,” she says, surprising me.
“Wait,Ipulled back?”I ask her, and she nods.
“Yeah.I thought that we were going to kiss too.I remember leaning forward, but then you pulled back so I did too.”
“I didn’t pull back.Youdid,” I argue.
“No, you did.”
We stare at each other for a moment, and I try to think back to that night.I don’t remember pulling back first, but I was so scared to ruin things between us that I think I would have panicked and bailed on the kiss at the slightest sign that she wasn’t into it.
“We both pulled back,” she says, and I nod.
“I have regretted it every day since.”
“Me too,” she admits.
“When I suggested the marriage pact, it was like my last ditch effort to try to have some future with you.”
“I agreed because of the same reason,” she tells me.
“I don’t want to wait another two years to make this official,” I tell her as I drop to one knee in front of her and pull out the ring box in my pocket.
“My sweet Snow,” I start, and she smiles at the old nickname.“I love you.I’ve loved you since before I even knew what love was, since we were kids.I’m tired of living without you, of pretending that we’re only friends when you’ve been my whole world for years.”
She smiles, tears welling in her eyes.
“I love you, Lilliana.It’s only ever been you for me.Will you marry me?”I finish, and she nods, tears spilling over onto her cheeks.
“Yes,” she chokes out, and I grin, relief flooding me as I push to my feet and slide the ring onto her finger.
We both admire the way the diamond glints in the light on her finger and then I’m pulling her against me and sealing her lips with mine.
