Blissfully unaware of the havoc she wreaked inside me, Elaine rested her head on her upper arm over my shoulder. Her forehead pressed to the side of my neck, her breathing fanning across my skin. I hadn’t had anyone this close for…I tried to remember—for a decade now.
Ever since Valeni.
Memories of those sensations rushed me. The feel of a woman’s skin against mine. Her body moving with mine in unison. Her moans echoing mine. And then…her screams of horror and the grave silence that followed.
“Tell me, Elaine,” I said quickly, using her presence as an escape from the horrors of the memories and the nightmares they brought. “Tell me, did you enjoy this evening?”
She stirred, raising her head to look at me. My hood was off, which I didn’t do often, normally trying to avoid stares of curiosity and repulsion. Thankfully, the side of my face that was closer to her was the side that the dragon’s poison hadn’t altered yet.
“I did enjoy it, yes,” she said cheerfully. “I had fun. The dinner was good too. The lady put a lot of thought and preparation into it.”
I never witnessed a Joy Vessel create the magic of joy before. I’d never heard a shadow fae giggle, like Lady Saedi did tonight. I wondered how Elaine had made her feel.
I tasted joy just once, in the Temple of the First Priestess. As the queen's reward for a successful campaign against city raiders, a group of us was invited to the temple, several decades ago. I never forgot the effervescent sensation of joy entering my mind as a Joy Guardian explained all the different kinds of pleasures I was feeling—excitement, happiness, pleasure from love and sex.
Joy made everything feel fuller somehow, giving every ordinary thing and experience another dimension. It was a unique, precious magic, but humans apparently had the ability to feel it whenever they wished.
“Though, to be completely honest here,” Elaine chatted. “The food could use some more salt. Not a big deal. I was so hungry, I enjoyed it anyway. But a little bit of salt would’ve brought it from nice to amazing.”
“Salt? Isn’t itsweetnessthat brings Joy Vessels pleasure?”
A crease appeared on her forehead again. From what I’d learned about this woman, that meant she was pondering my words while thinking of an answer.
“Sugar is great,” she replied. “I love sweets. But salt is very important. It may be a subtle and less glamorous flavor than sugar, but it’s a far more important ingredient in many dishes, sweet and savory. I love to eat, and I love to cook. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”
“I trust you,” I assured her, amused by her passion about the topic.
For me, food was just a nourishment, a life source. I hardly ever noticed what it tasted like as long as it wasn’t rotten or spoiled.
“Maybe I could evaporate salt from sea water?” she thought out loud. “I could then bring it to our next meeting, to add to the dishes if needed. When do we have the next dinner scheduled? Have you arranged for it yet?”
“Yes, I have. Tomorrow night, when you wake up, we’re scheduled to attend another dinner.”
I had no desire to stay in Ashgate even for a moment longer than necessary. The more dinners I scheduled, the sooner I would save enough gold to leave this place. So far, I’d managed to find people through the very few friends and connections I still had left—the true friends who hadn’t turned their backs onme despite my best efforts to drive them away either with rage or apathy. Hopefully, word of mouth from the satisfied clients would bring us more clients with time.
“Will we have enough dinners scheduled to eat regularly, you think?” Elaine asked.
“You will eat regularly,” I promised. “Regardless if we have clients or not.”
I’d never let her go hungry again, even if I had to starve myself.
The memory of her making sure I ate tonight fluttered with a flock of troubled night moths in my stomach. Before tonight, I hadn’t eaten anything since the day I’d learned about Joy Vessels escaping Prince Rha’ssarai.The idea of getting my hands on one of them occurred to me then, and I’d been saving every coin I could get since, forgoing meals and even water. I could survive without food for a long time. But starving night after night brought excruciating hunger pain that exacerbated the agony ofvirutudragon’s poison taking over my body.
Elaine’s fingers laced with mine, and I realized that I had rested my left hand on her thigh.
“You did good tonight,” I said, stroking her hand with my thumb. Lady Saedi’s emerald ring glistened on her finger. “I’m sure the word of your joy will go out, and we won’t have to worry about getting clients. They’ll come to us.”
That was largely just my speculation to assuage her worries. But I believed there was truth to it, too, judging by how pleased Lady Saedi had been tonight. The lady wasn’t known for keeping her mouth shut. Only the members of the royal court had access to the queen’ssaraiin Kalmena. The rest of the city’s nobility had to look for joy elsewhere. And I hoped that sooner or later, they would come to us.
“Oh, by the way…” She took her hand from mine, and I missed her soft touch immediately. “Take this too.”
She took the ring from her finger and handed it to me.
“It’s yours,” I protested. “This was a personal gift for you to keep.”
“What am I going to do with jewelry?”
“Wear it.”
