By the time Nyeem returned, everything was done, and the food was plated. He rubbed his hands together and licked his lips when he saw his plate. I said a quick blessing, and we dug in.
“Thanks for cooking this tonight, Ma. My workout was intense.”
“What did your uncle have you doing now that you’ll be playing football?”
He blew out a breath and rubbed his hand down his face. For the next few minutes, he talked about the workout my brother put him through with some of his old teammates. Although he was complaining, I was met with a wide smile that reached his eyes, making them sparkle with excitement.
“I’ll be ready for whatever they send my way, Ma. Now that the idea of doing both sports has settled in, I’m excited about it.”
“That’s good. I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
“Coach Kilo said there will be a press release tomorrow morning naming the new coaching staff and the most recent recruits. He told me to be prepared for the media to reach out to me.”
“You’re not new to this, Son. You got it.”
“I know, but you know some of them may want to talk to you. I just wanted to give you a heads-up.”
“We’ve told our story enough times. If they want to hear or read it again, they can find it online. This is your time to shine, baby boy.”
“I like it when they interview us both.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m proud of how you raised me and everything you’ve instilled in me. I don’t care how many times we tell our story. You did it alone, without help from the other person who helped create me. You never complained, at least not in front of me. I’m proud of you, Ma. I’m proud of us.”
Tears filled my eyes before a few fell down my cheeks.
“Thank you, Nyeem. I didn’t do it alone, though. Mimi, GP, Uncle Robby, and TiTi Skye were there every step of the way.”
“I know, and I’m glad we had their support, but you’re my mama, and you handled being a single mother like a champ. You never missed a home or away game, you took me to ninety-five percent of my practices, and you made sure I knew that my education came before everything. You’re the reason I’m where I am today, so it’sourtime to shine.”
“You’re really trying to make me bawl my eyes out tonight.”
He was seated next to me, and I leaned toward him, pulling him into a hug.
“I love you, Ma. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you.”
“I love you too, Son, and you know what? I wouldn’t be who I am today without you either.”
Later that night, I sat in my bed with my laptop. The plan was to see what I could find out about Kilo St. Patrick, but after an emotional dinner with Nyeem, during which we somewhatreminisced about our journey, I ended up reading old articles about us.
I cried at dinner, but by the time I’d read the third article, I was boo-hooing. When I found out I was pregnant, I was pretty sure my life was ruined because I wanted to have my baby. When I told my family, not once did they express any disappointment or make me feel ashamed.
We came up with a plan, told my track coach, and put the plan into action. It wasn’t easy, and I was met with many challenges along the way, but I was determined not to let what most deemed a mistake define me.
After a good cry, I went to the bathroom to clean my face, then finally did what I’d initially planned. There were a lot of articles about Kilo, but most of them were about his more recent endeavors. In my interactions with him, it never dawned on me that he’d played professional football for ten years. He also owned a gym in Chicago and a line of workout clothing for men sold only online.
I searched his name again, adding “BEU football,” and found older stories. I was a senior in high school when he was a senior at BEU, so we just missed being on campus at the same time. He and my sperm donor were on the team together, so I was certain they knew each other.
He was drafted in the first round by theChicago Coyotesand played for them for his entire career before retiring eight years ago. As I looked through the pictures, I couldn’t ignore how handsome he was and how little he’d changed since then.
Kilo had a very clean image. He’d never been married and had no children, which meant he had no baby mamas to cause any drama if we were to date. I was thoroughly impressed that he’d managed to have a successful career as a professional athlete, and nothing negative was attached to his name.
I had no idea what I thought I’d find out about the man who had a chokehold on my mind since the first time I saw him. Yet I was pleasantly surprised and slightly disappointed at the same time, because nothing I read made me less attracted to him, nor did anything make me oppose having his child if I were, in fact, pregnant.
When I finally put my laptop away, it didn’t take me long to fall asleep, but I tossed and turned throughout the night. Something in me felt unsettled, and I couldn’t pinpoint what. I wanted to blame Kilo because his presence in my life was the only thing that had changed. Yet, blaming him didn’t make any sense because every time I thought of him, I smiled and felt warm and fuzzy inside.
When my alarm sounded, I begrudgingly got up and started my morning routine. On Fridays, my workout consisted of walking two miles around my neighborhood, or on my treadmill, depending on my mood and the weather.
