“Yes, we need to eat!” he insists.
I gesture at the line with my free hand. “This could be awhile.”
“I don’t care. I have you to keep me company.” He looks at me with a huge grin, then leans into my shoulder while still holding my hand.
“And that’s good?” I prompt, so beyond confused at this point.
People don’t usually beg for my company, especially people who are so outgoing and popular. They usually avoid me, and Chad is one of those people who seems to draw the attention of everyone in whatever room he’s in. His happiness is infectious and it’s as if everyone wants to bask in his glow.
I know I’m not like that. And I’m fine with who I am. I’m just confused why he seems so drawn to me when he’s the one everyone else is constantly gravitating toward.
“Yes, John. I like hangin’ out with you. I’m soooo excited to finally spend time together this weekend. You’re my bestie-in-law, like I said.”
I bite my lip to prevent a smile at his ridiculousness. “That’s not a thing.”
“It is,” Chad insists with huge, pleading eyes to accompany his ever-present smile. “You’re marrying into my best friend’s life. Wait, no, not you. Your best friend is marrying my best friend. God, he’s so happy with Liam.”
He says it almost dreamily and it looks like there’s a flicker of sadness in his eyes now that doesn’t belong there. For an irrational moment, I want to get rid of it, to do anything it takes to destroy whatever is making his joy waver, but that isn’t my place, and before I can respond, Chad starts again.
“I want that… Do you think… Is he happy because he’s married to a man? Blake never wanted to date a man before. It was my idea for him to go on the show, and now he’s soooo happy. I miss him. We did everything together before, and now he has Liam.” He sighs, then looks at me. “I want my own Liam.”
I blink a few times because the flicker of hope in my chest at his words absolutely doesn’t belong there. “You’re straight,” I remind us both. He’s not seriously thinking about being with a man, and even if he is, it wouldn’t be me. I don’t do commitment.
He’s just drunk and lonely, and I don’t actually want to be Chad’s anything. I’m perfectly content with my lifethe way it is. I might’ve once wanted what he’s implying, but that was with Luke, and Luke’s gone.
“I am straight,” he agrees with confidence, pulling my thoughts out of the past. Then he shrugs. “Probably.”
“Probably?”I can’t stop myself from repeating because what the hell is happening right now?
“Well, I don’t know, John,” he says, exasperated. “Apparently none of us know anything until we meet a hot farmer and have a bi-awakening!”Did he just say Liam was hot?He squeezes my hand again, then murmurs, “I love you.”
My entire body goes rigid at the words he just so casually said. No one has told me they’ve loved me in so long. I don’t know what exactly he’s implying, but he obviously doesn’t mean like that, so there’s no reason for me to have such a visceral reaction.
“No. You don’t,” I dismiss, because he’s just drunk. That explains it all.
“Yes, I dooo,” he insists, swaying forward and pressing his forehead lightly to my shoulder. “I love Blake, and I love Liam, and I love Jace, and I love Kieran and Ash. Honestly, I love everyone, but right now you’re my veryyyy favorite because you’re here, taking care of meeee, and feeding meeee, and you saved me from the bad man and didn’t leave me. You’re the best bestie-in-law.”
“That’s not?—”
“Stop denying what we have, John,” Chad says seriously as he smirks up at me from where his head rests onmy shoulder. The couple in front of us turns around; they probably couldn’t help themselves after everything they just heard from Chad. “We’re sooo cute, aren’t we?” Chad shamelessly asks them, and they smile at us awkwardly before turning back around to order.
Thank fuck they didn’t say anything, I’m so out of my depth here I would have no idea what to say, but I’m glad they didn’t try to fight Chad.
By the time we finally make it to the counter to order, we take our number, walk to a free table and sit down in a booth, I feel like we’ve been here for hours, and I’m questioning every life choice I’ve ever made that led me to this one-on-one meal with Chad.
I scoot in first, and instead of Chad scooting in on the other side like a normal person, he slides in right next to me. “What the fuck are you doing?” I ask, meaning to sound more annoyed and less amused than I do. I am not someone who sits on the same side of the booth, ever.
He blinks at me. “Sitting.”
“On my side?”
“Yes.” He nuzzles his head back onto my shoulder. “Need you.”
It’s been so long since someone’s touched me so casually. Not since… I shut that thought down before it goes anywhere. I need to stop thinking about Luke. Chad is enough to handle, and I don’t need to get lost in the tragic internal monologue of my past tonight.
He sighs contentedly as we wait in the booth. “You’re comfy.”
“I’m not,” I mutter, even though that traitorous part of me doesn’t entirely hate what he’s doing.
