Could I tell Dad the truth? I didn’t have to tell him that Mom knew. I let the silence grow until he said, ‘There might have been other ways of dealing with Milo Kelly.’ He spat the name.
‘Like what?’ I whispered.
‘I wanted to kill him at the time, but my faith wouldn’t let me. I called the police, but I never asked you what you wanted and I’m sorry about that. I think the whole experience of the trial, when you were so young, I think that might be the root of your, you know … problems.’
‘You mean my alcoholism and cocaine addiction?’
He winced. ‘Yes. What would you have wanted to happen?’
‘Nothing.’
‘I mean, what would you have wanted us to do about the … assault?’ He found it as hard to say as I did.
‘I didn’t want anything to happen.’
He shook his head, confused. ‘You would have liked him to get away with it?’
‘Maybe.’
He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. I couldn’t meet his eyes. For the rest of his stay, Dad was perfectly polite and civil, throwing money at me ‘for Lucy’. We never discussed it, or anything even vaguely personal, again. He couldn’t have suspected, and the DNA evidence was undeniable. I don’t know what he thought, but I hadn’t eased his guilt. I’d made him feel worse.
Erin was more beautiful than ever. She had cut her long blonde hair and grown out the bangs, and it suited her. After the first few nights in Mom’s place, she came to my house. ‘I guess you’ll own this house now, right?’ she said.
‘Really? I haven’t thought about it.’ It hadn’t occurred to me.
‘I don’t mind; Dad has a fund for both of us. You might have to buy out Uncle Dennis, but I’m sure Dad will help with that.’
‘Do you ever think about how rich we are?’ I asked Erin.
‘Sure, we got everything we wanted,’ she replied in a flat tone.
‘Erin, are you okay? You seem a little off.’
‘Please, don’t you start. Saima is constantly checking up on me.’
Saima had been Erin’s best friend in school. ‘You and Saima are still friendly? That’s good. Did she move to New York?’
‘No, but I see her every time I go home for a weekend. She’s married with two kids. Are you not still in contact with anyone from Boston?’
I shook my head. ‘All my friends are Irish. Tell me about Saima.’
‘I don’t think she’s happy. She was desperate to have a sexual relationship. She married Binto so she could have one.’
‘You don’t still believe in that virginity oath, do you?’
‘No. Besides, I’m well over twenty-one. I’ve been dating on and off for years, but I’ve given up now.’
‘Oh no, why?’
‘Fabian. He cheated, a few months after he moved in with me. I threw him out last week. You can’t trust any of them.’ Her voice wobbled.
We stared at each other before I turned away to put the kettle on. ‘I’m sorry, Erin, I had no idea. That sucks.’ I hadn’t known she had a boyfriend.
‘Would you like some tea or coffee?’ I asked. ‘I’ve got a proper Italian coffee pot. We have Dunkin’s in Ireland now, you know? Better than Starbucks, right? But we have that too. We’re in a boom, apparently.’
Happy to change the subject, Erin marvelled at the number of cranes she had spotted on the Dublin skyline when flying into the city. ‘You certainly are. There are buildings going up everywhere. There was a whole feature about it inThe New York Times.’ We laughed at how Mom had always insisted that Ireland was not a third-world country despite what Dad said, and now it seemed very much to be a first-world country. Hotels and housing developments and factories were being launched every other day.
I wanted to hear about her life in New York City. She said it was tough and expensive. She had only seen Broadway shows a few times. I tentatively asked for news from Boston. Erin said she went home once a month. She’d met my friend Laquanda in Faneuil Hall with her boyfriend, who was a six-foot-seven basketball player. He was playing in reserve for the Boston Celtics. I was happy to hear that. I asked about our old neighbour Mr Delancy and his cactus collection, but he had died a year previously. She said home didn’t feel much like home since Dad had married Kathy.
