At the end of the ceremony, the vicar said that all the mourners were invited back to Christine’s house after the burial. Aunt Christine, Lorraine and I followed the coffin down the central aisle to the doors where the undertakers lifted it into a waiting hearse. I kept my eyes down. Way too many people. Outside, Aunt Christine and Lorraine were surrounded by other mourners. I felt stifled and retreated back towards the door of the church and was surprised to see Mark there, in a black suit and tie.
‘Hi, Sally.’
‘What are you doing here?’ I asked.
‘Anubha told me you were coming up for the funeral. I thought you might need some support.’
‘But … how … did you take time off work? Sue drove me here.’
‘You should have asked me.’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know … I – I wanted to be here for you.’
I was confused but grateful in this sea of strangers. Aunt Christine called me over to introduce me to some people. Mark grabbed my hand. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’
‘Yes please.’
I introduced Mark to Aunt Christine, but in the melee of people trying to offer condolences, it wasn’t possible to explain properly.
‘Would you like me to come back to the house afterwards?’ said Mark, as I was being hustled into the car with Aunt Christine and Lorraine to go to the graveyard. I gave him the address and he said he’d see me there in an hour. He had driven all the way.
Few people came to the grave so that was more manageable for me. In the funeral car on the way back to the house, Aunt Christine asked who my friend was.
‘That’s Mark. He moved to Carricksheedy a few months ago, I think. I hope it’s okay that I invited him back to your house?’
‘That’s fine. Are you … in a relationship?’
‘No, not at all, he’s a friend.’
Lorraine sniffed. ‘He must be a very good friend to drive all the way here to come to the funeral of someone he’s probably never heard of.’
Lorraine didn’t like me, I could tell. I don’t know why. I tried to put myself in her shoes. Who was I to her? The adopted niece of her sister-in-law who had no relationship with her deceased brother. She probably knew all about my background. She probably knew that I’d tried to cremate my dad.
‘Lorraine, I know you think I don’t belong here. I didn’t know Donald well, but Aunt Christine asked me to come and my therapist keeps telling me that I should try to socialize with more people.’
‘Oh … I didn’t mean … sorry. It was a lovely service, wasn’t it?’
‘I didn’t know Uncle Donald played the piano.’
Lorraine became chattier then and talked about the times that Donald had played the piano in jazz clubs in Soho when they were young. She was also widowed and lived in a small village in Sussex. She had a daughter who couldn’t come to the funeral because her own daughter had just had a baby.
‘So, you’re a great-grandmother?’
‘Yes, it’s a privilege to live long enough to see your great-grandchild. I wish my granddaughter had been married first, but it’s not like in our day, is it, Christine?’
Aunt Christine said she wished she and Donald could have had children and Lorraine apologized for being insensitive.
‘I’m insensitive all the time,’ I said, ‘I can’t help it. It’s because of my upbringing.’
Lorraine looked out of the window and Aunt Christine put her hand on my arm. I guess nobody wanted to discuss my upbringing.
When we got back to the house, I helped to lay out trays of sandwiches and apple pies and sausage rolls, delivered by neighbours and friends. Those who had been at the graveyard came in and were soon joined by others. I was delighted to see Mark.
‘Are you okay?’ he said.
‘Better now that you’re here.’
