‘I can’t be sure, can I?’
‘That’s true. I find your honesty refreshing.’
‘So where did you move to Carricksheedy from?’
‘Dublin. I’ve been looking for an excuse to move to this part of the country for over a year.’
‘Why?’
He turned away and looked towards the treehouse ‘Oh, you know, fresh air? A quiet life.’ The question seemed to discomfort him, so I tried something else.
‘Do you have any children?’
‘No, just an ex-wife, Elaine.’
‘Did you cheat on her?’
He stared at me for a moment and I think he was annoyed.
‘Yes. Yes, I did. I threw away a perfectly good marriage for a fling with a girl half my age.’
‘You’re honest too.’
‘Your … vulnerability makes me feel like I have to be honest with you.’
‘Will your wife forgive you?’
‘She’s moved on. She has a child with her new husband.’
‘And what about the girl you left her for?’
‘She left me. She wasn’t ready to settle down. End of story.’
‘You deserved that.’
‘I suppose. What about you? From what I read and heard, you’ve never had a relationship, is that right?’
‘Correct.’
‘Don’t you want one? Wouldn’t you like to fall in love?’
‘I don’t know. I’m theoretically heterosexual. But I definitely don’t want sex.’
At this point, the chatter had grown quiet. Martha grabbed Mark by the arm and led him out to the garden. Sue sat down beside me again. ‘That sounded like a personal conversation, Sally. Are you sure you want to share details like that?’
I felt deflated again. I had somehow said the wrong thing and I noticed that people were glancing in my direction. I heard Anubha saying to Fernanda, ‘What did she say?’ and Udo said to Kenneth, ‘I’m not sure about Mark.’ Kenneth nodded, looking confused. I went over to Udo.
‘I have to go now. Thank you for a lovely afternoon.’
‘Did Mark say something to upset you?’
‘Not today. I think I said something that should be private.’ There was a buzzing in my head. ‘Maybe I’ve had too much wine. Will you please explain to everyone about my deficiency and thank Martha.’ I scurried towards the hall and grabbed my jacket.
I had failed the test of attending a party. I made a mental note to raise it with Tina at our next session.
28
Peter, 1980
