“That’s not what I meant at all. I never said it was your fault—it’s not.” Zizi closed the distance between them. “The Guild has resources, ancient magical texts, rare ingredients—working for them means I’ve some access to all of that. I’ve been researching, trying to re-create the separation spell in a different way so I can reverse it without causing any harm to you.”
Relief washed over her. He sounded like his normal self, the one without the cold walls around him. He wasn’t angry at her, but still, she didn’t want him to risk more than he already had.
“Does the Guild know you’re doing this?” she asked.
“No. I let them believe it was impossible to re-create the exact spell. That’s probably true, but there might be another way to go around it. I just have to find it.”
“What if you get caught?”
“I’ve been discreet,” Zizi said. “But Ash might suspect I’m doing something. That man has an uncanny way of sensing things.”
“If Ash thought you were doing something suspicious, he would stop you.”
“You fail to understand what kind of person Song Lan Xi is.”
“But all this is affecting your spiritual energy, making you sick, making those black veins worse. You need to stop,” she said. “It’s not worth it—I’mnot worth it.”
Zizi shook his head at her. “The Rui I know wouldn’t say that. She wouldn’t give up. What happened?”
What happened?Rui wanted to scream. Everything unraveled with the loss of her magic. For so long, it’d been her compass. Now she was caught between two crumbling worlds and trying not to drown in an ocean of secrets and lies.Thatwas what happened. All the times she had to stand and watch when Yiran channeled magic, knowing that he was usinghers. He always looked so proud of himself. Sohappy. She didn’t want to take that away from him, but she wished, each time shewishedit would be the last and he could never use it again.Thatwas what happened.
Frustration welled up in her. But the words stayed stuck in her throat, and she found herself on the verge of tears.
“I know what magic means to you, Rui,” Zizi said softly. “Not having it makes you unhappy, and I don’t like it when you’re unhappy. I told you I would fix it. I’m keeping my promise.”
“Many things make me unhappy. Theworldmakes me unhappy, Zizi. You can’t fight everything and everyone for me,” she rambled. “And you can’t... you can’t always be the one who saves me. I have to—”
Her breath caught, her thoughts floating away.
Zizi was cradling her face in his hands, gently wiping her tears. “That’sthe difference between you and me, Rui,” he said, voice rough. “You want to save the world and the innumerable fools in it, whether they deserve a chance or not. But I—Iwould give up this entire world for a single breath to leave your lips again. And I don’t need you to feel the same way about me to do it. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
All the times he had tried to reach out and she held back. All the times he’d asked her to stay and she pretended not to hear. All the times he looked at her and she turned the other way when she knew.
Sheknew.
He repeated, “Do you understand? You don’t have to be afraid; I’m here.”
She stared into his pale blue eyes. She didn’t want to pretend anymore.
I don’t need you to feel the same way about me.
But she did.
“I understand,” she said, brushing her fingers across his lips. “Can I?”
“Always.” He smiled and dipped his head.
Rui stood on her toes, arms wrapping around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair—and kissed him.
She had thought kissing him would be familiar, like returning home after a long absence. But it was that—and more. It was being one with the world, and the world was just the two of them, andtheywere one, the missing pieces of one soul filled by the other.
It was magic.
A low sound rumbled at the back of Zizi’s throat as her teeth found his lips and her hands smoothed over the soft fabric of his sweater and the hard muscle under it. She pushed the Exorcist coat off his shoulders. She wanted him without his shackles.
Just him. Only him. Always him.
At first, Zizi was hesitant, respectful, his movements asking, not demanding—until he realized she wasn’t going to be gentle with him. He matched her need with his own, as if suddenly set free. A vague thought about how anyone might walk in on them surfaced in Rui’s mind, butZizi’s mouth and hands proved too distracting for reason.
