What do you do when loyalties divide? Where do you stand when your heart will be destroyed either way? I am at a loss for what to do. Does duty to family and the people of Faerie win? My heart and head are a mess.
I am at war with myself, there are choices in front of me I do not want to decide on. Why is the Fairy Goddess burdening me this way? Azoney doesn’t understand my heart is being torn inpieces. Two days ago, everything was clear. Where I stood was clear. Now ,it is breaking me. I feel torn in half.
I genuinely do not know what I will do. The Holloran’s will rise to power. I cannot let my grandfather and father’s sacrifices be in vain. I am not going to be the one to rule though. So, do I really need to stay? I could leave.
I could still keep my relationship with Alania. We have grown quite close. I could ask her what I should do since she has sight. Alania’s convinced that she cannot interfere with her visions. That’s a Fabian Holloran memorandum if I ever heard one.
Why would one be gifted with sight if they couldn't change things? I swear that girl is cunning, manipulative, but somehow so very dumb. Alania considers herself as a very smart person though. In fact, everyone does.
Not me though. I wormed my way into her life with evasive truths. It’s not to say I don’t like her. Alania is my niece. I do like her, but my motives to be close to her are not pure. Something she should see with her sight and sense herself as we do with motivations.
She’s not using her power to the full extent. While no one else can see where that will lead her, I don’t need sight to know. Her arrogance will be her downfall. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day it will be her death.
I actually hope I see it, no matter where I end up. Alania might be sweet now, but I sense her path will go towards the wicked. My sister sensed this about Alania too. She can tell if people will be good or bad. I’m having her keep that a secret though.
My sister is not the Soul Searcher, but she seems to have some powers Soul Searchers have. I have not found anything in myresearch about the powers my sister has. She’s just special. Only the Soul Searcher should be able to do the things she does; however, she can’t tell who mates are. It’s confusing.
I suppose many things are confusing to me now. What will I choose? I could ask Alania. If I choose a specific path where I won’t be here, then I’ll be wiping her memory. My family forgets that I have the strongest ability to erase memories.
I can make them hazy. I can also plant false memories that their minds could never discern as anything but the truth. As long as they never asked me about them since I cannot lie to them. Only the promised siblings would know those memories were false.
I met some people who believe the path to the promised siblings is clear. I’m not so sure. A partial Fairy being pure of heart would make a lot of sense. The O’Toole’s spreading hatred for partials confounds me then. Little do they know their most devoted follower is my nephew, Fabian.
For some reason, the man hates partial Fairies more than the O’Toole’s. Another thing my brother refuses to listen to me about. He thinks I just don’t like Fabian. He’s not wrong, in truth. I do not like Fabian because I see him for who he is.
My brother and his wife have blinders where that boy is concerned. I fear that may be their downfall. I’ve done what I can do there though. I have told him the truth about his son. He either does something or not. I believe he won’t.
It brings me back to what do I do? Do I stay here and help rule as a Holloran? Or do I go into the unknown where my path is unclear? Can I let this happen? Can I not? If I don’t go will everyone be safe? Altering memories would be the only way to make everyone safe.
Maybe I can have both. Maybe I can alter memories, leave, but still return to Faerie. I did need to stay close to Alania. I could have both. Couldn’t I?
Aeidelyn Holloran
People were talking around me, but my mind was swirling. Was it Aeidelyn or her sister that had an O’Toole mate? One of them clearly did. I knew from reading that Aeidelyn loved her sister. She practically raised her because the Holloran’s were planning their take over.
If her sister had an O’Toole mate and they met… in battle or something…. or even spying… Fairies were curious by nature… then Aeidelyn’s sister would’ve told her. That could be her struggle. Or was it Aeidelyn herself that had an O’Toole mate?
She was obviously the reason no one talked about her or her sister. They didn’t remember her. Aiden probably never met her. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Aeidelyn was the one Alania confessed to about her children being the promised siblings.
Aeidelyn already knew how to manipulate Alania… and she admitted that. She probably didn’t even try that hard to manipulate Alania about the promised siblings. She simply told Alania how dangerous it was for her children. Because that was true… it was dangerous, because of the people coming for them.
Alexander nudged me and I looked up in surprise. Valentina laughed, “It’s just how Mel is with research, Alexander.” I frowned asking, “What?” Xander answered, “Our nephews have been born.” I quickly shut the book and stood up.
We walked into Elise’s room. EJ proudly introduced, “This is Alex Nathan Conners and Kaiser Peter Conners.” I walked over and smiled at my nephews. I held each one trying to stay focused in the moment, but my mind was wandering.
Xander told his brother, “I’ll take the meeting EJ. You stay here with your mate and pups.” EJ admitted, “I completely forgot about that. I can…” Xander interrupted, “No, you can’t. Stay with your family, big brother. I’ll take Wes and Max.”
What meeting? Gosh…I didn’t like not knowing that type of thing. Cassie and Cayden left, having to get back to their own twins. Xander gave me a kiss before saying, “I’ll be back in a few hours tops.” I replied, “Ok… that’s umm… so …. I need to talk to you about something when you get back.”
I wanted to tell him first… about my discovery. It was his aunt…. with a couple great’s in there. I guess I could tell Haley… No, I should tell Xander first. He winked at me and popped away. It felt like my reason to be here vanished.
I looked around the room where everyone was smiling and talking to each other. Would I have felt more like I belonged here if I’d grown up knowing people in this pack? At this moment…. I felt like an outsider watching everyone. Just like I had been the last seven years. Watching.
Was that truly my place? I shook myself. Where did that even come from? Freya offered, “Years of being on the outside and being hurt by it. We aren’t going to heal or not have those feelings just because we are here now. You need to talk to someone about it though.” I sighed.
I told my wolf, “This moment isn’t about me. It’s about Elise, EJ, Alex, and Kaiser.” Plus, Alex had obviously been named for Xander. It was a nice gesture… and I wasn’t going to make it about my issues. I slipped out of the room, just like I used to in Black Path. So… it’s not like anyone would notice.
I walked out of the hospital then heard a throat clear behind me. I jumped and turned around, completely surprised to see Eric. Freya teased, “They noticed.” Well… that wasn’t the point! They weren’t supposed to… people didn’t care when I left rooms.
