As we rode backinto town, Neirin held me close, his touch light, as though he were afraid to both break me and lose me. When he trailed his nose along my cheek–faintly, he released a heavy sigh.
“Did you know? About Calix?” I asked.
“I did.”
This time it was my breath that left in a heavy exhale. “What else are you keeping from me?”
Neirin hesitated. On our left, the river rushed, gurgling over stones and lapping at its banks. Voices carried from a side street—the soft hush of women speaking and the giggling echo of playing children.
“Many things,” Neirin said finally.
Swallowing, I waited for him to continue.
“I meant what I said when I told you I would answer your questions. You have to know I had every intention to—” He snapped his mouth shut, swallowed. “But I understand if you would rather I take you home. I’m sure your brother will worry if you’re not there when he returns.”
“No,” I said quickly. “No, I want to talk.”
At my back, Neirin relaxed through a breath. “I do not deserve your patience,” he said wistfully, “but I am so very grateful for it.”
Unsaid words lay heavy between us as Sorrel carried us past the market square, empty at this hour, and toward the cliffside where the main road ran parallel. Neirin turned us to the south. I wet my lips, tasting the salt in the air. The setting sun cast tangerine light on the well-packed dirt road before us and warmed the right side of my body.
Neirin rested his cheek against my head. When he spoke, his tone was lighter than before, an effort to lessen the tension. “Would you still like to try going faster?”
Tilting my head to the side to look up at him, I dislodged his resting place, and he met my eyes. I found an apologetic half-smile pulling at his lips.
A flicker of adrenaline sparked in my chest, and I returned his smile. “I would.”
His arm around my waist tightened, holding me securely. “You will tell me if anything hurts?”
There was a dull ache at my sides. The farmer’s kicks would leave bruises if they were not already forming, but there would be no lasting damage. “My pain tolerance is high.”
“That is not what I asked.”
Sighing, I said, “I will tell you if anything hurts too badly.”
Neirin tensed, and though I suspected my response worried or displeased him, the feel of his muscles at my back and encircling me caused my belly to do a little flip.
“I’m okay, Neir,” I coaxed, letting the unexpected warmth flutter within me.
From the cliffside, a gallon of petrels took flight, the small dark birds appearing as silhouettes against the vibrant sky, save for the broad white bands that wrapped their rumps. Sorrel snorted at the commotion, and Neirin’s hand left my waistmomentarily to stroke her withers before he returned his hold on me and tightened it.
“Are you ready?”
The warmth in my belly fluttered like the wings of the petrels, and I nodded, a childish excitement coming over me.
“I will not let you fall,” Neirin spoke against my ear, and when his chest rose against my back and he clicked twice with his tongue, Sorrel responded. She nickered, her muscles bunched, and she pushed to a trot. As we picked up speed, I gripped her mane, teeth chattering from the roughness of her gait. The excitement within me twisted as a very real trickle of fear took its place.
“I’m going to push her to go faster,” Neirin said, his voice raised so I could hear him.
I clenched my jaw.
“It will be smoother, trust me.”
Trust him.
He clicked again, and as if anticipating the command, Sorrel’s strides lengthened. I lurched forward with the movement, but Neirin’s arm around my waist braced me. Sorrel’s withers were hard against my backside, uncomfortable with the rough motion. Spots of trees came upon us and passed in a blur. The only constant was the coastline. Body tensed, I gripped tighter on Sorrel’s mane, and each time her gait launched me from my seat, I tensed.
“Stop fighting it,” Neirin said, curling in so he could speak against my ear, his words nearly lost on the air as it cut around us. “Relax and move with her. Move with me.”
