Pushing from the wall, I retrieved the hoe and worked at the ground with halfhearted effort, using the action to appear busy. “It was nothing.”
“You’re no fun,” Renna complained. There it was, that side she concealed beneath the veil of social expectations. The childish pouting I knew only too well.
I huffed. “Fine.” I leaned against the hoe’s handle. Despite my better judgment, the thought of speaking about what Neirin and I shared gave me a thrill. But it was strange, too. Because the guard who took me at the festival felt like an entirely different man than the one who had sat beside me in the stables the night before.
I took a moment to consider my words. Farren already knew Neirin was a castle guard, but I hoped she would keep that to herself, what with the precarious state of things as they were now.
“The sex was good,” I said rather lamely, deciding to go with blunt and to the point. “The best I’ve had.”
The corners of Renna’s lips curled up. “More details.”
Mirroring her expression, I acquiesced, despite Farren’s flushed cheeks. Drawing nearer to them, I propped the hoe on the fence and sought somewhere to begin. “He took me against a wall in one of the castle towers.” Emboldened, I added, “Soldiers stood outside, and when I cried out, he said,’Let them listen.’”
A vibration of adrenaline tingled in my fingers and up my arms as I held myself at the edge of a very dangerous conversation. The rush flooded me, even as I knew it was wrong. Pushing thoughts of what came of the soldiers and all else that followed aside, I mentally forgave myself. Nothing of what happened was my fault; I should not feel guilty for it.
“Oh.” Covering her son’s ear, Renna released a heady breath.
Farren, devoid of words, only gasped.
“Was he—” Renna held her hands out with a generous spacing between them.
“Renna!” Farren squealed, and I grinned wickedly.
Holding my own hands out, I considered and added a few inches of space between my own palms.It was boasting, I knew, but the man was well endowed, and that was fair ground for gossip and bragging among friends.
Giddy, Renna encouraged me. “Tell us more?”
I lowered my hands to my hips. “Before we …”
“Did it against the wall,” Renna added when my words failed me.
“Yes, before that.” I quirked a smile. “He touched me, or rather”—I lowered my voice to a whisper—“he put his fingers inside of me.” No man had done that to me before. Sex was always about the man’s climb to a quick release, but Neirin had sought to pleasure me.And gods, had he.Renna had spoken of such an act before. It was the only reason it hadn’t entirely taken me unawares when he did it.
Covering her son’s ears again as if the infant had any understanding of her words, Renna leaned in over the fence. “It’s even better when they put their mouth on you.”
“I know what kissing is,” I retorted dully, a bit louder than necessary. My eyes darted past my friends to the market, but no one looked our way.
Renna shook her head. “Like a kiss, but better, and not on your mouth.”
It was my turn to flush. Did she mean …
My brother’s slate blue jerkin, one of the more colorful pieces of clothing he owned, caught my attention. He approached from the stalls carrying a basket of produce purchased from the market, his face stoic as ever.
“Where would a man kiss if not on your mouth?” Farren asked, flustered.
Aureus stilled a few steps back, having clearly overheard, and his face reddened slightly.
Because I was cruel, I sucked in my lips to hold back my amusement and leaned over the fence to whisper to Farren, to tell her exactly where a man might kiss a woman. It didn’t matter if this was news to me, too. I wasn’t about to pass up this opportunity.
“There? Gods, what would it be like to be kissed by a man there?” She shook her head and stepped back, bumping into the basket Aureus held in his arms.
A smile twitched at my lips; it could not have been better.
Her face nearly crimson, Farren turned and raised her gaze to my brother’s. Aureus, usually devoid of any expression aside from focused disinterest or mild disappointment, paled. The gape of his mouth clearly portrayed his discomfort. It was wonderful.
“I …” Farren fumbled.
Beside her, Renna suppressed a laugh.
