Gritting my teeth, I found my resolve. Right now, I need to be alone. And then … I wasn’t sure. If I had any sense at all, I would keep away from the wanted criminal, surely. Even if he made my stomach flip. Even if he sparked at my candor and met my energy in a way so few did. And he hadn’t corrected me that night, hadn’t forced me to “my place” when I followed him into the corridor. Instead of taking my dagger, he had shown me the proper way to hold it.
Without responding further, I urged him down the steps. He didn’t resist me, though I suspected he could if he wanted to. The man was strong. The firm muscles of his arms flexed as I coaxed him toward the door.
The bell chimed again, announcing the customer’s departure, and I looked over my shoulder to the curtain, anxious. In the doorway before me, Neirin froze, hesitating. I turned back to him and nudged him, forcing him across the threshold. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then shut it again.
Footsteps across the wood flooring neared the curtain, and I cursed under my breath. Rather unceremoniously, I closed the back door in Neirin’s face and spun as Aureus entered the room.
“Evera.”
I realized I hadn’t rewrapped my wrist.Dammit.I crossed my arms behind my back. Leighis still sat in the study, dazed, and somewhere on the table, my dagger was lying amid the papers. It took a conscious effort not to glance in that direction.
The corners of Aureus’s lips turned down, and his brows creased. “Are you just now getting back?”
I was horrid at lying, and my brother had an uncanny way of picking me apart, so I simply nodded.
“Ruairc came by earlier. He told me he left you some time ago.”
Right … I was supposed to be out walking with Ruairc, courting.
“I told you, Aureus, I have no intentions of marrying.” The words came out sharper than I anticipated. Now wasn’t the time to start a fight, not when my emotions were high and my arm was unwrapped, hidden behind my back.It was a mute statement anyway. There was no situation in which my fate could be drawn by my own hand.
As he always did, Aureus fed off my energy. It reflected in his tone. “You don’t have a choice.”
Our gazes held, both of us bristling. I was too angry to respond, too exhausted and emotionally drained by everything that had transpired with Neirin and Leighis. Of course my,brother would come in, forcing conversation about Ruairc and marriage at this time.
My body trembled. It was all too much. Aureus’s expression softened, and he stepped toward me, but I retreated, my back hitting the door. Emotion quivering my lips, I shook my head.
“Evera, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—” Aureus ran a hand through his beard. “You need time to think on all of this. I’ve pushed it on you too quickly.”
I turned my head aside. I wanted him to leave, needed space to breathe. My lungs constricted.
“Please understand, I am only doing what I feel is best for you.”
What is best for me?
When I didn’t reply, my brother sighed. A moment later, his steps and the swoosh of the curtain announced his departure. The breath I released eased the aching in my lungs.
I slid to the floor, fighting tears. Leighis knew now, so it was only a matter of time before Aureus discovered my secret. Neirin, too, understood our connection now to an extent. And then there was Ruairc to consider.
If Aureus discovered the bond, my choice would be made for me.Marry the shoemaker or marry the outlaw.Leighis had raised us with a respect for lore and the histories of our people, our world, even as such concepts had seemed more like fairy tales than anything else. They seemed real enough now.
Though if Aureus learned of Neirin’s involvement in the death of the King … Magical bonds or not, my brother would sooner marry me to a nameless merchant than to a criminal.
Perhaps the simplest solution was to give in to the stereotypes, disclaim myself from my family, and accept the title of a witch. Live my days out in the woods. The idea was absurd, selfish, the musings of a sleep-deprived and overwhelmed mind.
I ran my thumb over the design on my wrist, and Neirin’s words replayed in my mind.If anything, it is I who belongs to you. Something little leapt in my chest, and I drew my wrist to my body, holding it against my heart.
18
NEIRIN
I stoodoutside in the garden, fixating on a broken board at the base of the back door of the apothecary shop. The gap would let heat escape. Although it was a little thing, I worried about it.I worried over Evera, too, over the darkness beneath her eyes and the heaviness in her steps. If she didn’t rest, she would grow faint. Why did such thoughts, such cares, weigh so heavily on me?
Was it the bond the old man spoke of? Was that what drew me to her and defined this connection we shared? It made sense. My creature ached for her nearness, and the desire I experienced in her presence consumed me.
I’d never expected to care for a woman, not in such a way. And yet here I was, standing before a door so recently slammed in my face with a basket full of things that didn’t matter, staring at a cracked board and worrying Evera might catch a chill. Worrying, she was tired. Sad. And that I was, at least partially, to blame for her unrest.
Inside, she exchanged heated words with her brother. It was wrong to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t pull myself away. When she slid down the door, her shadow darkened the gap, and through our bond I sensed her sorrow.
