“Just—” He released a long breath. “Stay here, then.”
“Fine.” In truth, I had no desire or skillset to go traipsing after him into the castle. Gods, what was I doing? Scrunching my brows, I held the guard’s glare with an indignant look of persistence.
He scoffed and shook his head, reaching behind his back. Then he stilled, his throat bobbing as he swallowed.
“What is it?”
“My dagger.” Remembrance came over me of the commander’s uniform, and the smaller weapon sheathed at his back. Neirin’s eyes lowered to my hand, and for a moment I thought he may take mine. Planting my feet, I prepared myself to be difficult for the sake of it.
The guard tugged at a part of me somewhere deep inside that told me to surrender to him, to give him my everything. But he had no claim over me. Indignation led me to stubbornness and a will to do the opposite of whatever the man told me to do.
He is a castle guard. He is trained for this. What are you doing?I flexed my fist.
“Use your sword,” I hissed beneath my breath.
Neirin ran a hand over his face. “It is too large for small spaces.”
The tension in the air drew up the corner of my lips, and I suppressed a nervous giggle. “Too large, is it? For a small space?”
Evidently not amused, Neirin stepped to me, forcing my back against the stone again, and placed a hand firmly beside my head. The glare he set me with sobered me, and I lowered my eyes, averting my gaze. Submitting.Dammit.
Cursing beneath his breath, he drew back and went to the door. When his closeness left, the chill of the night and the unease at our situation returned. I swallowed hard, fingers tightening around the handle of my dagger, slick with the sweat of my palm. Neirin’s hand closed over the brass handle, steady and sure where mine trembled, and with a slow push, he opened the door.
9
NEIRIN
I swung open the door,spilling light into the corridor, barely beating back the void of darkness that continued in either direction into midnight ambiguity.
“Perhaps they sought to give us privacy?”
Though the woman spoke in a whisper, my body tensed at the purposeless noise. Did she not understand the seriousness of our situation? Did she not see that quiet was essential at such a time? Gritting my teeth, I looked back, finding her only a few paces behind me. She clasped her dagger with both hands, her fists held to her chest. The woman was maddening. Perplexing. And she had no sense of how to use her dagger; that much was clear.
“Stay here,” I said again, voice low.
She nodded once, the cinnamon curls of her hair bouncing.
Sighing, I turned my attention forward again. At all hours of the day and night, the windowless corridors of the castle were kept lit by wall sconces. It was not just a matter of convenience, but safety. Darkness bred opportunity for scandal and wickedness. The notion that the sconces were snuffed, not just in one direction of the hall but in both, told a story—or the beginning of one, at least. It was not a coincidence. Somethingwas at play, and my missing dagger remained a flaring warning at the back of my mind.
But who could have taken it?
Stepping over the threshold, I listened for any sign of movement, any noise. When nothing came, I crouched and strained my eyes to address the scuffed dust along the stone flooring. In the dim light from the doorway, I could make out the shapes and sizes of boots of men, women, and children. Frustrated, I stood. The corridor was used during the day hours by many of the castle staff. This told me nothing, then.
“Right,” the voice behind me suggested. “When I can’t make a decision, I always go right.”
“Quiet,” I hissed, putting command behind the word.
She scoffed.
Considering, I began to move to the left side for no reason other than my reluctance to take the strange woman’s suggestion. Within a dozen paces, the darkness consumed me entirely. Leaving the woman behind evoked a knot of worry in my throat, and the monster beneath my skin scraped.
She was a civilian, a commoner. I had done exactly as I was trained to do, given the situation. It was safer for her to stay behind than to come with me. And if harm did befall her, it was simply a casualty of necessity. My duty was to the kingdom, the castle, and to my brother. Not to her. Through my reasoning, the knot in my throat thickened, and a blazing heat of panic swelled. I could not leave her. I simply couldn’t.
I turned, then hissed as metal scraped my side, slashing through the leather of my uniform and grazing my skin. The woman squealed and rambled off apologies as if they were, in fact, an adequate response to her action.
To keep her from accidentally stabbing me in my chest, I clasped her combined fists; her skin was cold and clammy. “Itold you to stay,” I snarled. What a fool I’d been for turning back to her, for even considering it.
“Did I hurt you?”
