Even as it was distasteful to do so, I thought briefly of the other women I’d shared intimacy with over the past year. Mentally, I tried to tick them off. There was the blonde in Aldruil whom I’d lain with in the gardens and set my mouth between her legs until she shuddered with release. She’d gone by Trill, but I couldn’t remember what it was short for. Then the sisters in Literra, who’d kissed each other passionately, which unsettled me more than anything, but it was a story to tell the other men of the guard. Had I even asked their names?
Perhaps it wasn’t important, then, that I knew this woman’s name. In time, maybe it wouldn’t matter. The thought crinkled the lines in my brow.
Oblivious to my musing, the woman moved to the large buckle that belted at my waist. As she unlatched it, I tugged off my other glove with my teeth, as she had the first, and let it drop before returning my hand to the wall. The build of our shared fervor drew out a primal roughness, a possessiveness.
Exhaling headily, she freed my belt. It fell to the ground, and its metal latch clattered across the stone, echoing around the small room. The sound paused time, held it, and when quiet fell around us again, everything else fell away. Only instinct, drive, and need remained.
Eagerly, the woman opened my uniform jacket only to meet with another layer of clothing—a dark cotton undershirt.
“Dammit,” she hissed.
I laughed, rumbling, amused at first, then deeply aroused to see her struggling. Desperate.
Mine.
Aiding her, I untucked the shirt from my breeches and took her hand in my own, drawing it beneath the cotton. Her fingers trailed over scars, but she moved past them without comment. Breath heady, she trailed her touch down one of the muscular grooves alongside my hip and bit her lip.
“Is this where you show me that you aren’t a tease?” I asked, leaning in, caging her.
Her response was a whimper.
I kissed her chastely but denied her further advancement, eliciting another moan from her parted lips. She rocked her hips off the wall, her squirming nearly driving me to lose my constraint.
I needed more.
Growling against her mouth, I quickly worked the ties of my pants and loosened them, a silent challenge. I urged her hand back to the band. Panting, she gave in and pulled the cloth down just enough to free my length.
She wrapped her fingers around it. My cock throbbed beneath her grasp, and all conscious thought faded to a white light of pleasure. I shuddered and hung my head, breathing against her ear. Her hand stroked up then back to the base, and I groaned.
Instinct pulled at me, telling me to turn her, push her to the wall, and bunch up her skirts, to take her from behind like that, where I could grasp her hips for leverage. Clenching my jaw, I forced restraint, wanting to draw this out, to make it pleasurable not just for myself but for her as well.
And despite the haze of lust, a knowing nagged at me that this may be my only time. I couldn’t rationalize it, but beyond having never risen for a woman before, it was as if I knew that my body belonged to the elusive, beautiful woman without a name.
Can you come to terms with that?She’d asked.
I ground my teeth. I could very well never see her again. Still, to deny myself the opportunity to explore this inexplicable connection … Perhaps it was my need speaking, or perhaps it was the vulnerabilities of my past, a resolution to prove myself a man. Or, perhaps it was something more, something deeper. I exhaled a long breath through my nose. It didn’t matter the reason, not at this moment. Reasoning would come later, with the clarity of dawn, but I would not regret this, I knew. And that was all that mattered.
8
EVERA
The lengthof his cock was impressive, and with my hand wrapped around its girth, my fingers barely touched. As far as bad decisions went, I was pleased with mine.
As I moved my hand along his length, the skin velvet in my grasp, a fleeting moment of hesitation struck me. Aureus’s disappointed scowl flitted before my eyes. Finding a rush in a stranger’s touch was, possibly, not the healthiest coping mechanism, but it wasn’t as if I was a virgin. This wouldn’t change anything. It was just an escape. A chance to enjoy the frivolousness found in the dark, taken in obscurity.
Neirin moaned at my touch, drawing me from my thoughts, and I ridiculed myself for my moment of uncertainty. The man was delicious.The consort of a Queen.And she’d seen me with him, nodded her blessing. I would enjoy this man, would revel in knowing that a man who lay with royalty desired me, ached for me. Swearing off thoughts of the future, of what was right or wrong, and of my brother’s condemnations, I put them to the side—far to the side. I returned to the present and quickened my strokes.
Neirin hung his head, and the rough stubble along his jaw brushed my temple. His breathing hitched, and he suppressed a moan as he rocked his hips against me.
“If you don’t slow down—” His warning ended with a guttural rasp, and he wrapped his hand over mine, stilling my motions. Beneath our grip, his cock throbbed. And fuck, there was something primal and raw about that. It sent an ache straight to my center. I raised my eyes to his, and a whimper caught in my throat.
His face was perfection, chiseled and rugged. High cheekbones complemented the oval shape and stern lines of his jaw—harsh, almost, as if set by a life spent in focused determination. The slight part of his lips as he exhaled and held my gaze was seductive and tantalizing. Then there were his eyes, set beneath drawn brows. They were a soft gray, deep and thoughtful. In the dark of the room, they reminded me of the twin moons that watched over the courtyard.
When he brushed his nose along my cheek, his silver hair fell between us. Portions of it were braided, others left loose in a manner I assumed was meant to keep it out of his face when fighting. The length of it came past his shoulders.
Without breaking my gaze, Neirin rumbled against my neck. He worked his lengthinour shared grasp with languid movements. “Slow,” he instructed against my ear.
He withdrew his hand and returned it to the wall just above my head. There was a possessiveness in the way he pinned me between his body and the cold stone. Strength emanated from him, yet he made no move to take me. He was letting me explore him, giving me control. The way he let me touch him, let me bring him pleasure, only made me want him more.
