“I’ve seen foxes swim rivers, back in Elrune.”
Huffing, I held her gaze. The woman was stubborn as ever. “Fine,” I growled, even though the thought of giving power to the fox still frightened me. Despite my bitterness over how it was handled, it wasn’t a poor plan. Though I couldn’t control the fox, it was sensible to assume he would go to her. He always had in the past. The draw of the bond was stronger than any other instinct that drove him. But Calix … Even if his magic was strong … I swallowed, images from my dream returning to me.
“This is why you asked about my guard’s uniform?” I removed my boots, trying to focus my thoughts.
“Don’t need you traipsing into the castle naked, now do we?” Her tone was too light for the moment.
I grumbled and raised my eyes to the pair of conspirators once more before pulling my cloak and shirt over my head. An idea came over me with a rush of relief. “My uniform has some of my own blood on it; can you find it, Calix?” I didn’t want him here. Not when I was not in control.
The boy considered for a moment, then nodded. I was unsure how the sense of smell worked with his kind, only that they detected my blood. But from how far off? I suspected it was atleast a mile from here that I shed the uniform. At least Astraea would have had no reason to send her boys out in this direction, so it should have remained untouched.
“Off you go, then,” I told him, an edge of command in my voice.
He narrowed his brows but didn’t object. When he disappeared through the trees, I turned my attention back to undressing, working at the ties of my trousers.
My monster will not hurt Evera. My fox would not hurt his mate.
“I’m sorry to force your hand like this,” Evera said, her voice quiet, words almost undetectable beneath the rushing of the water.
“Do not exclude me from your planning in the future,” I said, stepping out of the last of my clothing. I did not want to fight, nor did I want to stifle her, but it was hard to force the bitterness from my tone. Did she not see how she worried me? How did the essence of my being seek to protect her? Capable or not, I wanted to stand at her side, not be left behind without knowledge of where she went or why. Remembrance of the panic I’d felt when I first woke rose a knot to my throat. No, this was not entirely her fault. The nightmare was to blame for at least some of my distress.
When she gave no response, I sighed. Quickly, I checked that Sorrel was secured so that Calix or I could find and retrieve her later, then I closed my eyes and released control to my fox. He took it, and as it had been before, the shift was fluid, painless, and lasted only the briefest of moments. Again, I found myself trapped within his form, the world muted, lacking color. Sound and scent intensified.
At least the forest calmed him.
When Evera coaxed him forward, my fox swiveled his ears. Two small steps brought him to the river’s edge, the span ofwater appearing even more daunting from this lower vantage. He whimpered, stepping in place.
Evera crouched. “It’s only a short swim. You can do this.” Was she trying to reason with him? Could he understand her words? I doubted it. Either way, her voice tugged at him, the draw of the bond a physical force.
Panting, he keened, then leapt.
53
EVERA
Awe filledme as it always did when I witnessed Neirin shifting. To be told stories of magic as a child, then to come face-to-face with the reality of it as an adult—it seemed otherworldly. Neirin was real, though. He was my mate, my companion, the one who called to my heart.
When his fox reached the bank and scrambled up to stand before me in the short grass, I reached out a hand. The animal addressed me but did not come forward. Instead, he shook his mottled gray pelt, sending droplets of chilled water into the air. I withdrew my palm and wiped off the few that landed on my arm.
“I knew you could do it,” I whispered, admiration warming my heart.
The fox looked to me, his eyes silver orbs. Could the fox understand me? I liked to think he could. He was smarter, surely, than Neirin gave him credit for. There was wisdom there, something that held more depth than instinct for survival alone.
I held my breath as he shifted back, wet clumped fur giving way to smooth skin, still slick with streams of water.
“You must be freezing,” I said as Neirin held my eyes, his hair silver again. Whether it had been washed by the river in some way, or restored by the magic of the shift, I couldn’t say.
“The only cold I felt was when I woke to find you not in my arms.”
“I’m sorry—”
“I know.” He cut me off, cupping my cheek in his palm. The chill of his skin sent a shudder down my spine. “All that matters now is that you are okay. I apologize for being sharp-tongued with you; it is only that fear overtook me when I woke.”
Shaking my head to dismiss his apology, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his, the touch light and gentle. His hand at my cheek moved back, twining through the hair at the back of my neck as he firmed our connection. He did not seek to deepen the kiss, only strengthen it, as if he were afraid that I might slip away from him again.
When he finally broke the kiss and sat back, he wrapped his arms at his knees and sighed heavily. “I dreamt of the day my brother died.” He wet his lips and cast his eyes to the trees. “I suspect that only worked to hasten my panic when I woke. I should have remained calm. Rational.”
I sat beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. Even through my dress and cloak, I felt the coolness of his skin. Trailing my left hand down the length of his arm, I traced the marks of our bond until my palm lay above his. Reflexively, he took my fingers, intertwining them with his own.
