“We wait for the huntsman Nox, the one I spoke with the night of the fire. He’s to bring word from my brother. For now, that is all we can do. Attempting to return to the castle will result in my capture at the bridge. There’s no alternate route, andcharcoal in my hair alone will not deceive the guards stationed at the checkpoint.”
Twisting her lips in a thoughtful way, Evera studied the floor for a moment.
“What if there is a way to pass the guards at the checkpoints without suspicion?” she queried.
“I’ve pondered every option—”
“Not every option,” Evera said. “If you were to shift—”
I hardened my expression. “The fox cannot be controlled.”
“Curled up in the back of a wagon with Calix; at a quick glance, the guards will assume you are a dog.” She spluttered the words out as if speaking them quickly could alter my resolve.
Raking a hand through his hair, Ruairc sighed deeply. “He can truly …” He flashed a quick glance in my direction. “You’ve seen it?”
“I have.”
“It is a lot to expect someone to believe,” I said.
When Ruairc did not reply and posed no other questions, I spoke to Evera. “We wait for Nox.”
She nodded, though the dejection that flitted through the bond betrayed her disappointment. What she spoke of, though, what she proposed, was not possible. The fox was dangerous.
Biting her lip, Evera raised her sage eyes. “Can I stay the night with you tonight?”
Again, using a forced cough to poorly conceal his reaction, Ruairc pounded at his chest. Could I sit so calmly if I were in his place? Was his presence here a testament to his devotion to her, his willingness to put her desires first, or was this all a ploy? Despite Evera’s confidence, I could not bring myself to share her full faith in the man. Had it been a mistake to tell him as much as we had? It would be all too easy for him to betray me to the huntsmen in town or to the local commander, to feign no involvement and stand as a comfort to Evera after my execution.
I had to put my faith in Evera, in her reasoning for involving the cobbler. A knot formed in my throat. I’d not put just my own life at risk, but Harlan’s, all in the trust I placed on Evera.
Brushing my thumb her cheek, I held her gaze. My mate. My heart. “I would like nothing more.”
40
NEIRIN
The fire poppedin the hearth, orange flames licking eagerly at the charred logs. Though it was not particularly cold, building up the fire gave me a task to busy myself while Evera settled Calix to sleep.
It wasn’t like Calix to be dependent on comfort. Clearly, seeing Eaumond under the control of a pair of huntsmen had troubled him. After such a length of time, it was reasonable to assume that the boy, too, was suffering. Again, I found myself impressed with the control Astraea’s messengers had. For them, though, the alternative to control was death.
With the fire built, I left the hearth and crossed the room to the doorway. It stood cracked, and, cautious to be quiet, I pushed it further open. Evera lay on the chaise, eyes shut, with Calix tucked into the curve of her body. One of her thumbs stroked his shoulder, the only sign she remained awake.
For a moment, I only watched, unable to break the gentleness of the moment. Never had I considered children to be something I desired, not even as a fleeting thought. Though I loved Harlan, I’d never looked upon him and yearned for a family of my own. He was my brother, my kin. I was fiercelyprotective of him, but it was different … in a way I could not quite place.
Evera yawned, and her lashes fluttered. When her eyes opened and her gaze met mine, a deep, rich warmth coursed through our bond, and I smiled softly, entranced by her. If only things were different, if my seed would not contribute to the forging of another monster. Evera would make an astounding mother. A selfish thought, admittedly, as I was unsure that life suited her. Still, it would never come to fruition, so I allowed myself to bask in the glow of the fantasy.
Careful not to wake Calix, Evera rose from the chaise and pulled a thick, woven blanket up over his shoulders. She stroked curls of hair from in front of his brows before turning to me.
“What are you thinking?” she asked when she joined me in the doorway.
I wrapped my arms around her middle. “Truthfully?”
“Always.”
“That this feels like a family.”
Again, the thick warmth flowed between us. I did not have a word for the sensation, not one I could utter with certainty. It was reminiscent, though, of Nyana’s arms around me or the gleam in Harlan’s eyes when he looked to me with the kind of admiration that only he showed for me.
A murkiness seeped through, and Evera turned her head sideways to rest on my chest. “Why do I feel we are about to lose it all?”
