—And jump into the water.
The shock of cold freezes my lungs. Somehow I didn’t expect the water to be so icy when the sun is shining in the sky.
Wide-eyed, frozen, I look at Zan next to me, shining too.
He wraps his arms around me, and the heat of them, his inner dragon fire, thaws me from the outside in.
“Scream, Yora,” Zan says softly, his ancient eyes endless pools that practically dare me to try to be too much for him to take. “It’s okay to.”
I still.
And then I do.
I scream and scream, letting out my emotion.
Allowing myself in this moment to be my whole self.
Because right now, here, with Zan—
I am whole.
For this one moment, it’s safe to be all of me.
My magic follows, a rising tide of magenta that detonates out of me like a shockwave, sending waves surging out of the lake and trees lashing in the physical wind I have created with my power.
And at long last, when my breath has run out and I gasp for air, I sag in Zan’s arms, banging my head against his warm chest.
“Should I have stayed asleep?” I whisper.
Zan’s arms tense around me. “No,” he growls.
“Teren was fine—”
“Was he? You don’t believe that.”
“He was in less danger then than he is now! He just wanted to be left alone, and so did I, and now... now I’ve set that all on fire, because that’s what wrath does. It’s whatIdo.”
“And what a glorious fire it is, which I say as a connoisseur.”
I clench my fists. “Iwillpunch you.”
His arms tighten. “I know you wanted to be done with the Order forever, andbelieve meI understand.” His voice is fierce. “But you know this was set in motion before today. As soon as you stood by me in the open, this was always coming. Expecting yourself to not start fires... that’s not reasonable, Yora. You’re the one who said it: You are wrath incarnate. If you want to be free, you are going to burn.”
He’s right. I’ve managed to avoid accepting this because I’ve had so much else to process the last couple days, butthisis why he was so upset with me before. He knew what I’d set in motion, and knew what it meant for me.
Zan didn’t want me to sacrifice myself for him any more than I want him to sacrifice himself for me.
Too late for both of us, now.
“Is it fair to allow myself to burn when other innocent people get caught up in it?” I ask softly.
After a moment, Zan turns a different question back on me. “Do you want to leave?” he asks. “I can fly you anywhere in the world.”
His voice is carefully neutral—burying his own emotions again, trying not to influence mine, which I’d be madder about except that the question stuns me for a moment.
I’ve never seriously considered leaving the empire.
Daydreams, sure. But maybe, now that centuries have passed—
