Which he’s not going to tell me.
I take a breath.
Let’s try talking first before punching this time.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my fists clenching. “I don’t know how to do this. You’re not telling me everything and obviously you don’t have to, but I’m worried you’re putting yourself in danger for me again and I don’t want that. Especially when it really isn’t necessary.”
Zan closes the distance between us and takes my hands in his, warmth spreading between us and says gently, “You don’t get to decide when I put myself in danger, or what I think is necessary. I don’t get to decide that for you, either.”
I nod slowly. “That’s true. But if you’re doing itfor me, then it is my business. So if it affectsyourdecisions, I would much rather have you here with me than be alone with a full ice house. If you don’t want to stay, obviously that’s different, but—”
“I do,” Zan interrupts.
His gaze, so close, is clear. And sure.
I search it with my own. “And you’ll really be okay?”
“I have more power now than I did with the Quiet up,” Zan says. “Your waking up has made transformation safer for me. And I’m enjoying being able to change forms.”
He told me a little more, but... that still wasn’t a straightforward yes.
He must have reasons for not telling me, but—
Do I trust him or don’t I?
If I put it like that, the answer is simple.
“Then I’m coming with you,” I say.
Zan’s eyes widen. “You’re sure? Being held in my claws isn’t comfortable, from what I understand.”
Ha! That wasn’t a no, either. “Why can’t I ride on your back? Is that rude or something?”
He blinks. “Not exactly, but—how would you stay on?”
My mind is already whirling with the katas I can do, and I smile. “Trust me to handle that.”
Now it’s Zan’s turn to search my gaze before settling on my smile and then saying, “Then let’s do it.”
“Yes!!” I pump my fist in the sky in victory.
His lips quirk. “Under-selling how much you wanted this, huh.”
“It’sflying, Zan. You can’t tell me even after centuries you don’t get a rush every time you get to fly in the damn sky.”
Zan smiles. “No. I can’t tell you that. Frankly it’s the fucking best.”
“And as someone extremely acquainted with wrath, breathing fire sounds pretty awesome too.”
He nods. “Yep. Absolutely is.”
“Zan, you’re going to help mefly. I’m not going to be normal about this.”
He steps in close and presses a kiss to my forehead.
I freeze completely.
“You are welcome, Yora,” Zan tells me.
