Which is not the Order and what we’re going to do about them.
But that we havetime.
And I think that means different things to us.
“Do you want children?” I ask him abruptly.
Zan looks at me. “Do you?”
He didn’t answer, but I can go first—my answer’s easy, after all. “I have no idea. Sages don’t have children, because then we might have other priorities besides the Order’s. I don’t know what childhood or parenting evenlooklike—I never evenconsidered that as an option before I started imagining you doing Kovan’s child’s hair and getting squishy feelings before I really felt like I should be having them.” Zan’s eyes crinkle with humor. “Have you?”
“I have,” he admits. “But in the way of a nebulous fantasy, not something I expected to be possible in reality.”
Because he knew I was it for him, whoever I might be, and I wasn’t available—not even to know.
“And now?” I ask.
“I think I would,” Zan says carefully. “But only if you wanted children, too. The reality of you with me is more important to me than the possibility of them.”
Okay, wow. Children. Guess I’m going to have to think about that after all.
But: we have time.
“Until I decide,” I say, “Nomi mentioned there are herbs—”
“Ah, those won’t work,” Zan says apologetically. “Dragon magic circumvents herbal contraception.”
I frown. “Oh. I suppose that makes sense, given that dragons in general don’t ask permission to steal children, though that’s kind of horrifying in an additional way.”
“Quite.”
“But—”
“Magical contraception does still work,” Zan adds.
That’s something, but... “Damn it. I never learned how to do that, and that’s... not forms I want to be messing with, without some knowledge. Do you think Jiran would know? We can probably catch up—”
“Dragons only have children on purpose,” Zan says. “If you... trust me, that need not be a concern for us.”
I let out a breath of relief. My trust in him isn’t a question at this point. “Oh, phew. That can beyourproblem. I love that for me.”
Zan doesn’t laugh as I expect; like my trust is an unbelievable gift he can’t believe I’m granting him by default. “Yora. Why are we talking about this right now?”
Fortunately we have reached the door to the cottage, so I have a brief reprieve from answering as we unlock the door, set down our things—
And then Zan tugs me to him, his tight control of his instincts snapping.
Finally.
“Yora,” he growls.
I wrap my arms around his neck and look him in the eye.
Take a breath.
“Because I want to mate. Today.”
Zan’s eyebrows snap together. “We talked about this. We have time—”
