“We’ll see,” Jiran says cynically, like he doubts Nomi’s read on the situation.
She is biased, obviously.
But she does also know Crystal Hollow, I think.
“Yes,” I agree. “We will.”
Apriest,adragon,and a sage begin climbing the mountain together.
Before silence can settle in, Jiran asks Zan to tell him about the ice line—where it ran, how long it was, its current state.
Wise of him to engage Zan rather than me, I think. I’m not sure how Zan will handle seeing another lone male with me right now.
I eat the ice cream while they talk, because what am I going to do, let it go to waste? And I feel Zan’s tension easing as I do.
He needs to feel like he’s taking care of me, I think.
When we finally reach the base of what was once the end of the ice line—there used to be a trail to rendezvous with the main path, back when it was wider, to bring the ice the rest of the way—Jiran breaks away from us to look around.
I have no idea what he sees, other than a lot of work.
And I can’t help being aware that Jiran said he wanted to talk to me, but he has not, in fact, talked to me yet.
When he finally comes back, he looks me in the eye.
I respect that immensely, from someone who knows better than most what magic is capable of.
“This is a big job,” Jiran says, “but you know that.”
I nod.
It wasn’t a question.
“Anyone who comes here, and anyone who lives here,” Jiran continues, “you’re asking a lot of them. You’re forcing them to give up their security, and their freedom.”
“No,” I disagree. “I want them to have real security and freedom. There’s a difference.”
I glance at Zan, then; see his gaze intent on mine, but shuttered. He’s trying very hard to keep himself out of this, andIfinally reach my breaking point, even if he hasn’t.
I can’t have that anymore.
Security is about physical safety, but it’s also about feeling at home, and welcome, and safe. That’s what enables people to be their whole and best selves.
It’s about making space, and holding space.
That’s what Zan has done for me, or I wouldn’t even know what this looks like, let alone what itmeans.
“Oh, I get that,” Jiran says gruffly. “But it’s not how a lot of them are going to see it, and this is a big shift you need to happen really fast. Transforming a community for resistance.”
“I know.”
And I do.
But:
I meet the rogue priest’s eyes and say, “This is what sages are for.”
Jiran is watching me closely. “Right now, I won’t risk the people you need me to bring. It isn’t safe for them.”
