I don’t even know what those things are, but I want them.
I’m pretty sure he’s talking about physicality here? Like, I know the basic mechanics of how sex works, but more than that... it wasn’t really considered a necessary part of my education.
But as Zan makes as if to put me down, I finally realize where he’s led us to.
“My” room.
This space, that I feel so alienated in? Absolutely not.
“No,” I say abruptly.
Zan freezes.
Gods damn it, of course now he thinks I’m rejecting him, but I don’t know how to explain—
I withdraw one of my hands from around his neck, gesture at the horrid bed that isn’this, and release a burst of wrath.
Magenta power whips out of my hand, a targeted strike.
The bed explodes.
Zan stares at me as magenta-limned shards of wood and fluff rain down around us.
I... maybe should have thought that through for longer than a second—
“This is not my room,” I blurt.
Argh, where is all my “education” about “clarity” and my supposed “grace” and “adaptability"—
“I see,” Zan says, his voice odd. A little lower. “Then it seems we have only one bed available.”
Gods damn it, and now I’ve pressured him too—
Without another word, wood chips settling over both of us, Zan simply turns and carries me out the other way.
“I didn’t mean—”
“Oh yes you did.”
Okay fine I did, but—
“That’s what I thought.” Zan’s voice drips with amusement, but also, I think, a hint of smugness.
My face burns, and I bury it in his shoulder as he kicks a different door open and then sets me down on the edge of what I know is his bed.
Mortified—grateful, relieved, but still mortified by that burst of unconsidered rage—I don’t let go.
Sage of Awkwardness. I have like,anti-skill at not destroying the mood—
Zan leans over and licks my ear.
I jerk in surprise.
What in the— How did I just feelthatright in my core?
If anything, I turn redder, because that’s not normal, right? That is myear.
Then, now that he has my attention, Zan’s mouth moves to my neck.
