Resolve. This is what she taught me.
But the cost in this moment does not seem worthwhile.
Especially when the extent of her resolve is for me, and not for Tasa.
Oh, I know that Tasa is in no danger here, but the Learned doesn’t.
I understand that I am a valuable asset to the priesthood.
I understand that Learned Muka has a relationship with me, and a responsibility toward me, and that as she feels her body failing her, her determination can only take her so far.
She, after all, is not a sage.
Still.
Still.
“Nothing holds me here but my own limitations,” I tell her carefully. “I was not prepared to take down the dampening field at the Precipice. Until I find within myself the answer to why, I will remain at Celestial Sanctuary.”
Learned Muka narrows her eyes at me, her gaze flitting to Tasa and back.
As if I have been distracted from my calling by infatuation.
Infuriating, that after all our years together, she could think that of me.
More damning, that part of me wonders if she isright.
“And why is this a better place than with the might of the priesthood supporting you?”
Why indeed? “Because I have had the support of the priesthood my entire life, and that has not given me the answers I seek.”
Learned Muka manages to bring the glass of water to her lips.
Tasa makes as if to help steady her, but I block her arm as the Learned glares.
She would consider it an insult to her determination to allow anyone to assist her now.
And following her questioning whyIdid not choose to accept help, that makes it clear that she thinks even less of me.
I cross my arms and glare at her.
We have known each other a long time. She flinches—but then immediately takes her feet.
Prepared to stand against me, to be the rock I sharpen my determination on no matter the cost.
That drains my ire right back out.
What is thepoint?
“You’re giving up,” she tells me.
The words land like a blow, but like the fight I wanted from Zan, they give me the gift of centering me.
“I do notgive up,” I growl.
“Do you think I was born yesterday?” Learned Muka snaps. “Where are your robes? Where is your dedication? What have you been doing—baking bread?”
Behind me, Tasa freezes.
