I step back, startled out of the very inappropriate direction my daydreams were taking.Stop that. He has nowhere else to go.“I don’t need you to?”
His golden gaze fixates on mine, almost like he’s angry? For what, carrying my own stuff? Being denied?
My heart pounds, and I’m not sure any more what emotion is causing it. My awareness was already heightened, but I think now we’ve been dropped without warning into a different kind of tension.
“You told me that lightening burdens is real help,” Kovan says tightly.
Okay, breathing. I was not prepared for our second meeting to be as confrontational as the first, especially following my maybe over-the-top reaction to seeing him in different clothes that I chose for him so that’s even my own fault.
But Iamused to people attacking me without apparent warning, and I lift my chin.
The sage’s eyes widen.
What, did he think I would just roll over when he started making demands of me?
I mean, honestly that would be more logical. He’s a goddamnsage.
But I keep my tone even like I always do when this happens.
Making people mad a lot has made me good in a crisis, at least.
“It can be, yes,” I say, “but I’m also not helpless.Youmade me think that I wasn’t weak.”
That comes out more accusingly than I meant it to.
Kovan freezes.
And then says fiercely, “You’renot.”
Then what is hisproblem?
I don’t even know what I’m feeling now, but it’s definitely not any less complicated than when I left.
“Great. Then I can manage my own shit. The difference, to be clear, is that it’s not helping if you’re pushing yourself where you’re not wanted.”
“Damn it,” he mutters.
Okay, that was... easier than I expected, honestly. But my hackles are still raised—I can’t quite believe that someone is just going to accept me.
“Are you bored of bread already?” I ask lightly, trying to figure out what in the world brought this on. Not the desire to help, but the—ahh, there it is.
Kovan scowls. “I wanted to have bread ready for you when you got home, but it’s bad.”
Oh. That’s... sweet, sort of, except that he accidentally took it out on me. But he stopped as soon as I pointed it out and actually told me what the problem was, which is... way better than how this usually goes for me, honestly, and obscurely finally eases my tension.
We make it to the door, and Kovan asks, “Will you leave these things here for now? I can sort them into the workshop.”
“Oh, wow, you’ve already done that?”
He scowls harder. “No. It’s taking longer than anticipated. I’ve made a mess of your space.”
I can tell he’s really upset about this so I manage to hold back my laugh but kind of wish I’d been here to watch a sage learn about organizing.
My heart is still beating rapidly, but the tension is fading. Or, well, one tension. The important one, because what I might secretly want isn’t.
“That’s fine,” I say, unloading my pack to leave at the door. “I didn’t expect that to be fast. I have alotof crap in there.”
“It’s notcrap,” Kovan snaps.
