More like I had been hanging on for dear life.
Like I had with every other job I’ve ever tried that ultimately didn’t work out.
And I have tried... pretty much everything, at this point.
(Carpenter. Plumber. Seamstress. Blacksmith. Apothecary... Just.Somany.)
I shouldn’t be grateful for a magical working that has made life so much harder for all my neighbors.
But I honestly don’t know what I would have done without it.
“Contributing,” Kovan says flatly, “out of the goodness of your heart.”
What’s that supposed to mean?
“I mean, people are paying me for the salvage pieces?But, I had a bunch of these great pieces stacking up that no one wanted, right, and then I thought—well, everyone agrees it’s too dangerous for me to touch anything still standing in town, so I thought, maybe I could just make something with them in a place that won’t be in anyone’s way. So that’s why the cottage is here, and that’s why everything is kind of mismatched, and... I haven’t decided if the roof is going to be a problem, honestly, I know it’s asymmetrical but Ithinkit will still be fine once the snowy months hit—”
“You’re telling me that in less than a month, you have changed your entire livelihood, cleaned up the aftermath of a sage’s...detonation, alone both at the temple and amidst the destruction of your village, and assembled a house from pieces ofscrap?”
“I mean, it’s a weird house,” I point out. “And most of the pieces were built already so I just had to figure a few things out to put them together—”
“You settled on an entirely new course of action without any assistance and followed through all the way.”
“Yes, but that’s because I got excited? It’s always easier for me when something feels shiny and new.”
Itstillfeels shiny and new though, honestly.
Maybe because I never find two pieces that are the same, so every time I have to learn a new thing to do.
I’m trying really, really hard not to overthink it. To rely on it. Because once I do—
“You clearly do not fully appreciate how impressive this is,” Kovan says, “or how rare. But I do. And if you can’t believe in my knowledge as a sage, at least believe that I personally wouldn’t have known where to evenstart.”
“That’s hardly comparable, youdohave a job that you’re a unique expert at aaand there I go again.”
His shoulders droop only a little, but given what showing even that must cost the avatar of resolve makes me feel like a worm.
“I’m so sorry,” I say quietly.
His lips twist bitterly. “If I had learned more than magic, you wouldn’t be.”
I frown. “I wouldn’t apologize for hurting your feelings, even if it was an accident? That sounds bad, actually.”
“You wouldn’t doubt yourself every time you speak truth,” he says. “I can’t do even this.”
It takes me a minute to work through what I think he’s saying, which is that he’s been trying to make me feel more assured in his presence but it hasn’t magically worked in the span of a few minutes and so he’s a failure.
“I think you might have unreasonable expectations for how easy it is to change people’s feelings without literal magic,” I say slowly. “But you definitely started.”
“A start doesn’t actually help you.”
“Yeah, it absolutely does? Just because you can’t do something all at once doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing?”
He snorts. “You might sound more convincing if you weren’t ending those sentences with question marks.”
“I don’t doubt what I’m saying,” I tell him. “I’m confused that I have to say it. But okay. You want to help. I hear you. Can I teach you how to make bread?”
The sage rolls his eyes at me.
