She will certainly sympathize with the frustration when careful arrangements don’t go according to plan.
But Ayaka also saw me with Nariel beforehand, and what she is actually doing is expressing sympathy for my loss, even if she doesn’t share it. Which she doesn’t, because she doesn’t know what Nariel became to me, only that he became something. And she probably wouldn’t approve if she knew and thinks I’m better off.
“Thank you,” I say, and deflect, “I am very lucky for how things turned out, and to have had your support.”
Ayaka twirls her straw in her drink, watching me. “Oh, my part was very easy,” she says, her own humble deflection, because her part was actually very dangerous and delicate and we both know it. “It is you who deserves all the congratulations.”
Rage surges up in me, and I squash it down. It’s not directed at Ayaka.
But I don’t deserve all the congratulations.
I won, yes, but in the process my sister got kidnapped, the woman who helped me in this world when no one else would or could was threatened, and the man who supported my greatest ambitions and believed more in me than I could in myself is gone.
I have to do better, and I’m going to. For everyone.
And for myself.
I’m mad at myself, but I deserve better, too.
So I can say more honestly, “No, I made many mistakes. I will work harder from now.”
Ayaka sharpens; we’re getting to it now, why we’re here. “I’m surprised you’re not gone already.”
A leading statement.
Brook jumps on one aspect of it. “I’m not ready to go home yet. Sierra doesn’t need to rush off on my account.”
My sister is trying so hard to act as though she’s just had another adventure, probably so I won’t feel so guilty—a lost cause—that I’ll never help her escape our parents’ idea of protection again. But if I try to smother her in safety, she’ll claw off her own skin trying to get away. She’s had more than enough of that.
So I’ve given her a shield, to start. And I’ll do more than that before I’m done.
“I owe Brook more of a trip, since we’re already here,” I tell Ayaka. “I won’t let all her memories of this experience be sour ones.”
I won’t let High Earth break her. Not even as much as they broke me.
“They’re not,” Brook pipes up. “But that’s not going to get Sierra out of a really epic shopping excursion.”
Ayaka smiles, but her eyes are still narrowed. “I see. How nice! And while you are here, will you be working?”
I grin faintly. “Of course, Ayaka. My work ethic is not like yours, but naturally I would not miss such an opportunity.”
My work ethic is actually a great deal like Ayaka’s, in that it’s all-consuming. Mine might just be a little more obsessive.
“Is there a project I could assist with, while I’m here?” I ask her.
“If it is not too much trouble,” Ayaka says—and the sweetness in her voice clearly indicates she does not care if it is too much trouble—“it would be so much more convenient to be able to keep an eye on things for you from Tokyo. My work is so busy these days.”
Translation: Things are going to get messy, it’s your fault, and I’ll have to take responsibility and it’s a huge imposition on my time, so the least you can do is make it easier for me to not have to travel across the country on a whim.
She is correct on all points, and this is something I have already considered.
“Of course. I can set up—kind of a remote access terminal, so you can keep an eye on things without having to be physically present. We can discuss what will be most convenient for you, and I am happy to adapt.”
“You are too kind,” Ayaka murmurs.
“Not at all. And I will do more than that,” I say. “I’ve also added some initial defenses to the gate, so if something does happen, you will have both warning and time to get down there. I would be pleased to make further adjustments if you have any suggestions for how I can improve them to ease the strain foryou. I will have to add protections to the other anchors as well, but this one is the most important. Before I leave, of course, I would also like to teach you some other spells. I realize this is yet a further imposition on you, but I hope you would consider the time spent valuable.”
She’ll need some remedial education, given how little High Earth teaches Low Earthers, but she’s smart and I have no doubt she can catch up if motivated.
