This is the side of me I never let anyone see before today, because I have to always appear perfect and unassailable or no one will take me seriously.
And it’s ironic, that I can coldly plot out a magical revolution across four universes and bide my time for a decade, butthispart of me, this blatant willingness to disregard all the rules and norms High Earth claims to live by,thisis what made my former mentor afraid of me.
This is why the grand magus is now taking me seriously.
All their protocols—and ours too—are set up to put down people who can’t handle their emotions and thus their power. They aren’t set up to deal with someone who wields their emotionsaspower.
And I know enough of humans, and of High Earth, and of my former mentor in particular, to understand that if Evram isafraid, he will never stop until the source of that fear is put to rest.
My first error was prioritizing getting magic over defending anyone.
My second, perhaps ultimately even more damning, was making the grand magus understand that I can and will kill him.
I’m the one bringing magic back into this world. No one asked for this. I put everyone here at risk for my ego, my own personal need for magic, and that means it’s my responsibility to make sure it doesn’t bite them in the ass. Not any more than it already has, anyway.
The crux of the issue is that I’m still not willing to lose magic. Not for myself, or for anyone else. I’ve tasted it again after living so long without, and Iwill notgo back.
Which means High Earth will never let me alone. One way or another, I’m marked.
My days are numbered, but those days will be full of magic.
And I can make the most of the time I have left so everyone else will be able to keep magic in their lives.
I’ll wield my magic so hard High Earth will never be able to erase me again.
I let the feeling of being caught in the whirlpool overwhelm me, and batter at all my grief thatthisis the course available to me while still being true to who I am.
But I won’t give magic up, no matter what.
I’m doubling down.
And that’s why Nariel’s soft statement, now, is such a kick in the gut.
He can’t wait for me if I leave him.
My eyes snap open, and I cast.
A sphere of calm in a storm, my rage channeled. Lightning crackles around me as if contained in a globe.
I’m clear-eyed. Focused.
I lift myself out of the water in a bubble of power, the water streaming off of it while the humans play all around me none the wiser.
While I have eyes for only one person.
His eyes are dark pools I could lose myself in. But I won’t lose myself to anyone, and I let him see that.
And he rises in the air to meet me and holds out a hand: meeting my challenge, not dominating or subjugating.
My heart squeezes, but I know what I have to do.
Before I activate the third anchor, I’ll have to convince the grand magus to bring my sister back so I can rescue herandwin magic for this world in one shot.
One move, before I’m off the board.
I let Nariel see only my resolve as I take his hand.
And then we’re gone.
