"Stop." She pulled her hand away from his face to cover her own, her cheeks burning. "Please stop. I am begging you."
"I'm merely quoting. Your prose was quite vivid."
"I will end you. I will take your life right here in this bookshop, and Mr. Haberton will help me hide the body because he likes me better than he likes dukes."
Martin laughed a full, delighted laugh that transformed his face. "There she is. There's the woman who threw a cushion at my head and called me insufferable."
"I stand by that assessment."
"I would expect nothing less." He reached for her hands again, drawing them away from her face. His expression had softened, the teasing giving way to something more serious. "Vanessa, I need you to understand something."
"What?"
"The letters…they gave me hope. They gave me courage. But they did not make me give you my heart. I cherish you already, have been devoted to you for years. What they did was show me that I was not alone. That the feelings I had been carrying, the feelings I had convinced myself were shameful and inappropriate and impossible, they were not one-sided. You felt them too."
"I did. I do."
"Then everything else is just... details." He lifted her hands again, cradling them against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat through the layers of fabric…rapid, unsteady and matching her own. "We have wasted six years being afraid. Six years of silence and longing and pretending. I do not want to waste another moment."
"Neither do I."
"Then let us stop wasting them." His eyes searched her face. "I want to court you properly. I want to call on your parents and ask your father for permission and do all the tedious, traditional things that society expects. But I also want you to know,right now, before any of that happens,that my intentions are not merely honourable. They are permanent. They are forever. I am not asking for a courtship, Vanessa. I am asking for a life."
Her breath caught. "Are you…is that…"
"I am telling you that I intend to wed you." His voice was steady now, certain. "Not because of the letters, not because of last night, but because I cannot imagine a future that does not have you in it. I have tried and I have failed utterly. You are in my thoughts when I wake and when I sleep. You are in everyroom I enter, every conversation I have, every decision I make. You have been the center of my world for six years, and I am tired of pretending otherwise."
"Martin…"
"I am not asking you to answer now. I am not even properly proposing, I shall do that later, with a ring and candlelight and all the romantic trappings you deserve. I simply needed you to know. Before we leave this bookshop, before we face your parents and mine and the endless scrutiny of society, I needed you to understand that this is not a whim. This is not infatuation. This is the rest of my life, if you will have me."
Vanessa stared at him. The tears she had been fighting finally spilled over, tracking down her cheeks in warm rivulets. She did not bother to wipe them away.
"You impossible man," she whispered. "You ridiculous, wonderful, impossible man."
"Is that a yes?"
"It is not a no."
"I shall take what I can get." He released one of her hands to cup her face, his thumb brushing away her tears. "Though I should warn you…I intend to be quite persistent. I have read your letters, after all. I know exactly how to court you."
She laughed a watery, hiccupping sound. "That is terrifying."
"It should be. You were quite specific about your preferences." His eyes glinted with mischief. "Candlelit dinners. Poetry readings. Long walks in gardens under moonlight. You also mentioned, and I quote'a firm hand at the waist during the waltz,' which I believe I have already mastered."
"I cannot believe you memorised them."
"I told you. I read them many times." He leaned closer, his forehead nearly touching hers. "I can recite passages, if you wish…'Dear Martin, I despise you. I despise the way you smiledat Lady Hartwell this evening, as though she were actually amusing rather than simply…'"
"Stop!" She shoved at his chest, but she was laughing now, genuine laughter bubbling up through the embarrassment. "I dislike you immensely."
"You adore me."
"That is entirely beside the point."
"It is exactly the point." He caught her hands, stilling her ineffective assault on his person. "It is the entire point, Vanessa. You cherish me, and I cherish you, and we have both known it for years. The letters simply... hastened the timeline."
"Hastened." She shook her head. "You make it sound so solid."
