Feeling bold, she wore the midnight blue dress Daniel had bought for her. It was a challenge and a silent declaration, assuming Daniel would be there to see her.
The silk felt heavenly. It was almost like water that had taken shape and enveloped her skin. It was a stark contrast to the scratchy, heavy dresses Joshua usually bought for her.
With the change, she no longer felt so confined. While she could barely recognize herself in the mirror, she appreciated how the color and fabric made her skin glow.
Follow your heart.
For years, she had ignored her heart, and not just because her brother had turned out to be strict. She had been afraid to put itout there for fear of rejection. It was always better to be the one to retreat.
Recently, though, she had made the effort to connect with other gentlemen, but her brother had always been there to prevent them from calling on her.
Tonight, she felt restless. Daniel had bought her a dress. It did not matter if he wanted to pursue her. She did not want to waste the things that she had been given. Not anymore.
A sharp knock at her chamber door pulled her out of her thoughts. She had made certain it was locked, as Joshua had developed a habit of barging in.
“The carriage is waiting, Lucy,” he called.
He sounded impatient, as usual.
Lucy took a deep breath, hoping that tonight would be better than the previous nights.
When she stepped out, she saw exactly the moment Joshua froze. The hallway might be dimly lit, but she knew that he could see the details of her dress. It could withstand light and darkness. The proof was in the way his eyes traveled from the hem of her skirts to her exposed throat.
Lucy waited for the shouts and demands to change her clothes. Her heart was already wrecked at the very thought. Still, thesilence stretched out. It was awkward and heavy, and she did not understand it.
“Where did you get that dress?” he demanded. His voice wasn’t loud; it just had a strange edge to it.
Lucy gripped her fan for courage. She would stand her ground this time. She had known he would ask, and she had already rehearsed a lie. All she had to do now was to say it confidently until she herself believed it.
“I have been keeping it for a long time, Joshua. I found it in the back of my wardrobe and decided to wear it. Something different. After all, it is Lord Havisham’s exhibition of antiques. Why should I not wear something old that looks new? I know you want to impress him, too.”
“Y-you are right. I want to impress Lord Havisham,” Joshua said, his voice strained.
He probably agreed because Lord Havisham was old and married. His sons were away.
Still, the fact that Joshua was not angry was more unsettling, for some reason. He looked pensive as his hand hovered over the silk of her sleeve. His eyes were hooded. Unreadable.
“I—I was just surprised by the bold color.”
He did not blink. Instead, he inhaled deeply.
What was he doing? His eyes were not fixed on her face either, but on the spot right above her sternum. It was almost as if he was assessing how tight her bodice was. But that would be strange, would it not?
She shook the ugly thought away.
“Well, we must go, or we will be late,” he said abruptly, lowering his hand. “Please do not wander off like last time. Stay nearby.”
That was a strange interaction, indeed.
Lucy had been on several carriage rides with her brother through the years. That much was certain. However, the carriage ride to the Havisham townhouse felt like a surreal dream.
Suffocating silence reigned. Opposite her, Joshua had decided to keep quiet instead of spouting his usual brotherly rules, disguised as advice. He was also as still as a statue, but not in the way Lucy was at the Redmoor ball. His immobility was by choice, not by desperation.
There was something unsettling about his appraisal of her midnight blue silk. It made the small cabin tighter. She tried to control her breathing, not wanting to end in a panic where she had to loosen her stays.
The nightmarish conditions continued, though. Each time the carriage stumbled over a cobblestone or a stray rock, his knee would brush hers. He would not move away each time. Meanwhile, she had to press herself closer to the door, her heart galloping in what she considered unreasonable fear. Still, she prayed that they’d reach their destination as soon as possible.
When they arrived, her relief had her almost jumping out at the footman. Still, she tried to hold on to her composure. When her feet reached the ground, she tried to act more confident than she truly felt. She looked much better today, perhaps even beautiful.
