“I may not show it the way you would want me to, but it doesn’t make it any less true,” she said in a reasonable tone. “My love language isn’t the same as yours, nor does it need to be. Living for as long as I have and seeing all the things that I did changes the way people like me interact with others. But beyond that, I was never a cuddler or hugger. You know that.”
By the gods, I knew that all too well.
She heaved a sigh. “I’m not the mother you want, Lyall, but I’m the one you have. Even though you do not see it, and although I may not show it enough in your eyes, I do want and love you the same way I do all my other children.”
“If you truly love me, then for once in your life, hug me!” I exclaimed. “Is that so damn steep a price to show that you care?”
Although extremely subtle, I didn’t miss the way she stiffened upon hearing that request. What a foolish boy I indeed was. I snorted at my own stupidity, shook my head, and rose to my feet. Without a word, I turned around and headed for the door.
Just as I was reaching for the handle, her arms slipped around my chest, and she hugged me from behind. My knees nearly buckled from the shock. Then the most insane sense of well-being washed over me. Her touch seeped into every cell of my body. It was truly like being wrapped in living divine light.
On instinct, I turned around and hugged her with the energy of despair. I lifted her up and buried my face in her neck whileinhaling her scent. It almost felt as if I was tumbling down the endless vortex of time when I was but an infant being held in my mother’s gentle embrace. Memories of my mother singing to me that I’d buried so deep in my subconscious surged to the fore.
Once again, she initially stiffened before softening. I almost sobbed when she returned my embrace. She gently caressed my hair while allowing me to hold her. I should have let go, but I couldn’t. Knowing it would likely be centuries before I ever got to hug my mother again, I couldn’t help being greedy.
“You feel too deeply, my son,” she whispered in a soft voice laced with sadness. “It rules you.”
She gently pushed back on my shoulders, and I barely stopped myself from tightening my hold to prevent her from freeing herself. However, she didn’t make me put her down just yet but cupped my face with both hands instead. The feel of her touch on my bare skin once more nearly brought tears to my eyes. Whatever doubt I might have had about the divine nature of my mother evaporated. She truly was a Goddess. And while she would qualify as socially challenged by normal standards, only someone overflowing with love could fill me with this depth of maternal affection with a simple touch.
“Stop punishing yourself for your sire’s actions. I never blamed you, so stop blaming yourself. It’s ruining your life, and it breaks my heart to see you spiral over something you were never responsible for. You are worthy of love, Lyall. Believe in yourself and in your worth, like I do.”
“No one else does,” I countered with self-derision, before putting her back down on her feet with much reluctance.
She waved a dismissive hand. “Of course not, because you keep telling them not to. Stop projecting the image of a monster to everyone you encounter. Contrary to what you think, it is not a self-defense mechanism but one of self-sabotage. All itaccomplishes is isolating you. Amara set you on the right path. Keep following it.”
I scoffed. “She saw the ‘nicer’ side of me but still didn’t want me.”
My mother threw her hands up in aggravation. “Because she wasn’t yours! Believe me, I would have liked nothing more than to claim her as my daughter. But she belongs to another.”
“Is there even someone who is mine?” I challenged.
“Of course,” Mother replied with a shrug.
“Is she even born?” I asked with a hefty dose of sarcasm.
“As a matter of fact, she is.”
My jaw dropped. “Really? Is she of age?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes,” my mother deadpanned.
“What?! Where is she?!” I exclaimed.
Whatever tender feelings my mother’s embrace had awakened in me moments prior completely vanished when she smirked at me in that obnoxiously familiar way of hers.
“You’ll meet her in due time.”
“For fuck’s sake!” I shouted, throwing my hands up in exasperation in a fashion similar to what she had done just moments ago.
“Watch your language, boy,” my mother said sternly. “You will meet her in due time, Lyall.”
“Why make me wait if she’s of age?” I asked, genuinely baffled.
“Because if you had met her a year ago, you would have killed her during one of your reckless rampages,” she replied in a factual tone.
I recoiled, outraged. “I would never kill my mate!”
“Yes, Lyall, you would have because you never would have given yourselves a chance to find out,” she retorted in a chastising tone. “You’re too impulsive and emotionally driven.”
