I let the information sink in, still disliking the fact that he never told me. “You had hundreds of occasions to tell me, Lex. Why didn’t you?”
“I… I had a feeling you wanted children, since you’re far more family-oriented than I am. I think part of me was scared it would be a deal breaker. That knowing I was sterile by choice would be the final straw for you.”
Careful not to make the water spill over onto the marbled floor, I turn around in the tub to face him. The worry in his eyes tames my irritation a little.
“Baby, I knew you were a wanted cybercriminal, and I still very much wanted to stay with you. Do you really think a vasectomy with a safety net can be a deal breaker bigger thanthat?”
“Well, when you put it that way…” He frowns, eyes unfocused as if he’s doing an internal assessment, like the workings of his mind are a mystery even to himself.
“You’re such an idiot sometimes,” I say with a small laugh.
“I know.”
I can’t stop myself from laying a quick peck on the hard line of his lips.
“Twenty is so young. I’m surprised they even let you have one,” I say as I pull away.
“I was certain of my choice, and they realized that during my assessment. Given my childhood and the way I was raised to see my autism, I was convinced children weren’t in the cards for me. I had internalized a lot of things about who I was. About being different. About being too much in some ways and not enough in others. I think I was fourteen when I decided it would be better not to pass on the loneliness I felt back then.”
He exhales slowly.
“And I never believed I’d find someone who would understand me well enough to want to build that kind of life with me. So when I became sexually active, it felt responsible to make sure there would never be an accident. Especially given my financial situation. I’ve always been careful about control. Of course, had I known you existed somewhere out there, I wouldn’t have done it.”
There isn’t even a trace of anger left in me. Instead, I feel an absurd amount of compassion for him. My handsome nerd was so certain he’d never meet someone like me, so sure no one would ever love him or want his babies as hard as I do, that he got rid of the possibility of it. He must have felt terribly alone in this world to come to this conclusion so early on… It actually breaks my heart to think about it.
The crease between his brows vanishes as I move to straddle him, which he helps me with.
“So, what I’m hearing is that when we’re ready for a baby, we’ll have to try extra hard?” I say, flirty.
He nods, pupils expanding at the thought. Just like me, he’s probably thinking of all the ways we’d try, fucking like rabbits during my fertile days, constantly leaving me stuffed with his cum whenever the window is right.
I kiss him, my tongue lazy and tender against his, rubbing my pussy into his hardening cock while his chest hair teases my nipples. His hands are on my ass, kneading as he helps my languorous writhing. Waves form around us, but I keep things reasonable enough to ensure we won’t spend ten minutes cleaning up afterward. Soon, there’s slickness where we rub, especially when one of his big hands reaches for my nipple to pinch and twist it.
“And if that doesn’t work, we have some twenty-year-old Lex samples waiting somewhere in a freezer,” I continue, slightly breathless.
Again, he nods, and my nose scrunches at the oddness of it. It feels so young, almost wrong. I’d never get pregnant by a man of that age, but it’s not really the same here, is it? “I want babies from the incredible person you are right now,” I explain. “But if it comes to it, I’ll gladly have them from a younger version of you.”
“If anything, it’s a better quality of sperm. Regardless of the reversal’s results, we should probably go that route for optimal—”
“But this is so much more fun,” I interrupt him, wrapping my hand around his hardened dick and aligning it with my opening.
When I lower myself onto him, the stretch is almost painful. But I let nothing transpire, breathing out a sensual sigh instead. It’s been almost an hour since he was last inside me, and he’d probably insist on making me come again if he weren’t as entranced as he is.
“Isn’t this nice?” I purr, licking his upper lip. “Definitely nicer than shoving one of your sploogesicles inside me.”
“That’s not how IVF works. And don’t call it that. Not if you want me to stay hard.”
I giggle against his lips. “That’s such an old man’s problem. I bet twenty-year-old Lex would stay hard forhours.”
The teasing doesn’t offend him. On the contrary, he smirks. “For you? I would have stayed hard fordays.”
I grab his jaw, still not used to the feeling of his beard in my hand, and tilt his face up toward mine. “Such a good boy for me.”
“Always.”
I’ve never had sex in water before, probably because none of the men I was seeing had bathtubs, more likely because I’ve never been frisky like I am with Lex. But it’s fucking amazing. I feel like Poseidon’s daughter as I cling to the tub’s sides to anchor my undulations. In the space that separates my stomach and his muscular front, there’s a tiny tempest. The bath’s soapy water is agitated, small waves crashing on porcelain and skin.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I profess, overwhelmed by the pleasure.
