The word is on the tip of my tongue. Three letters that should so easily roll out, effortless, familiar. But nothing about this is easy, so I hesitate. It isn’t about the ten years. I don’t care about those. I’d gladly pay them if it means I get to keep everything else. If I get to keepher.
Although I’ve done my best to ignore Andrea’s presence since I walked in, I can feel it. I sense her pleading gaze on the back of my head, burning with its intensity. The awareness of it is enough to open a crack in the control I so fiercely cling to.
My body acts on an impulse, a rogue mutiny I have no control over, and I twist around, seeking her in the crowd. Everyone there is holding their breath, waiting for my answer, but I pay them no mind, eyes gliding over the masses in search of the one face I crave to see. I vaguely notice Evora, Kevin, Shelly, and my sisters… And then her, doe eyes red with tears, makeup gone from her soft skin as she must have washed up after our encounter.
Everyone else disappears, leaving only her and me in the moment. She begs me with her eyes to refuse the deal. Her right hand lifts to her chest, flattens high on it, and draws a circle there over and over.
Please, Please, Please,she implores in sign language.
She’s wrong. She doesn’t realize what refusing the prosecution’s offer implies. Her optimism blinds her, defying logic. It makes more sense to accept, to choose the safest route. She will move on, meet another man—more like Oliver, less like me—have his children, and forget why she was ever this distraught over me.
It’s the right thing to do, no matter how much my chest hurts at the mere idea of another man having the privilege of being by her side, of witnessing the years on her face. Privilege that should have been mine. She was mine to hold, to have, and to cherish.
My love, my dork, my freckled fury.
“Mr. Coleman?” the judge calls, reminding me we’re not alone.
Again, my body acts on its own as I turn around. My voice is clear, free of hesitation as I utter, “Your Honor, I’m rejecting the plea.”
A collective gasp arises behind me, intent whispers erupting in the wake of my decision. I turn around again, immediately finding the brown gaze I crave. The sadness in it is already gone, replaced by hope, gratitude, and love.
“I love you,” she mouths with tears of relief and joy.
She must have told Kevin and Shelly about my decision to accept the plea, because they seem as elated as she is. He’s the one who breaks the link between us, taking her into his arms for a brief hug.
The judge smacks his gavel down a few times to restore order in the court, then announces, “We’ll proceed with the preliminary hearing, then.”
Once everyone is seated again and silence has returned, Judge Ward tilts his head to the prosecution and says, “Ms. Collins, you may proceed.”
“Thank you, Your Honor.” She rises from her chair. “Before we call our experts to the stand, the government would first like to call a witness who can offer critical insight into the defendant’s behavior and intentions—someone personally close to him.”
“I’ll allow it.”
Ms. Collins smiles, turns around to the gallery, and continues with, “The government calls the defendant’s girlfriend, Miss Andrea Walker.”
Chapter 02
Fuck, fuck, fuck …
Although I love hugging Lex and I adore his forehead kisses, I would have rather used those ten minutes to talk with his lawyers and prepare for this shit. But I changed his mind about the plea deal, so it wasn’t all for nothing.
My stomach is in knots as I sit behind the stand, the guy with the Bible walking away to return to his corner.
“Miss Walker,” Ms. Collins starts, approaching me. “You work for Mr. Coleman, correct?”
“Yes.”
“When did you start?”
“The 22nd of July.”
“And when did your relationship with him become romantic?”
I glance at Lex, unsure what to do or say. At Kelex, HR has a full account of our relationship on file, so it’s probably better not to tell an easily debunked lie. “In September.”
“Can you be more precise, please?”
My throat is tight as I say, “We started seeing each other on the 2nd, but I wouldn’t say we were anything serious until later that month, around the twentieth.”
